Bouncing Out?

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Sa totoo lang, hindi ko gaano na miss ang sarili kong blog.  I was, in fact, trying to find 101 reasons to bounce out this site.  I made a list of it but only ended up with 79.  Pffft...  If my blog was a real baby, it would be dead and rotting by now, reeking with kick-ass worms.  Yes, I really really really am a bad blog-parent.  Shoot me.

Cracked a few books, and comic books, and did new paintings, during my almost-permanent internet hiatus.  Read three series of Neil Gaiman's The Sandman, Budjett Tan's Trese 1 & 2, Gerry Alanguilan's Elmer, Stephen King's The Gunslinger, Chuck Palahniuk's Rant, Haruki Murakami's Kafka on the Shore, and WM Paul Young's The Shack.  These are just some of the books I added recently to my small collection  of books.

What have I been doing?  Work and work!  I barely had the chance to do some artwork in the past  months.  Takte kasing trabaho yan eh!  I'm not whining.  Sa totoo lang maganda nga na may trabaho ako na may disenteng sweldo at libreng tinapa.  Yun lang, taena lang talaga yung kumpanya at mga boss ko, panay ang pa-overtime!  This may sound redundant and downright uninteresting so I'm stopping now.

Anyway, here are some of my new paintings...

"Untitled" Acrylic on 24 x 18 inch canvas
I made this back in March, but decided to put a darker shade on it.
(yes, a schlock version of Angels by Raphael)

"Outside" Acrylic on 16 x12 inch canvas

"Rusted"  Acrylic on 20 x 24 inch canvas

The photos above were taken using a 3.2mp phone camera, so they're not really of good quality (just saying they look better in actual, hahaha!).  All these are just sitting in one corner of my room, collecting roach-dirt and dust.  Walang mapaglagyan sa bahay eh.  Gusto nyo ba? :)

This is it for now.  Wala lang.  Pumampam lang ngayong araw.

Byerts!

Kabute

Medyo matagal pala akong nawala.  Dalawang buwan mahigit din akong hindi nakabisita sa mga regular kong dinadalaw.  Kamusta naman kayo dyan? XD

Wala akong intersanteng paksa ngayon.  Sa totoo lang, napadaan lang ako dito para lang masabing, errr, dumaan ako.  Baka kasi isipin nyo patay na ako.

Ang hirap mag-isip ng  sasabihin.  Sabaw pa rin ang utak ko mula sa trabaho.  Limang araw na diretso ang pahinga ko ngayon kaya nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon na makabisita dito.  Balak ko noong magpunta ng beach.  Kahit saan sanang beach.  Pero dahil sa mabait akong anak at kapatid - sa bahay lahat napunta ang maliit kong kita sa tindahan ng tinapa at sa pabrika ng toothpick.  Balak ng mga kaibigan ko na magpunta ng Pagudpod sa May, pero mukang hindi parin ako makakasama doon.  Bull.  Pero ok lang, medyo matagal naman akong pinalamon sa bahay, kaya marapat lang na punan ko naman ang mga bagay-bagay at responsibilidad na tinanggal ko sa balikat ko noong isang taon.

At dahil nga nakabakasyon ako, nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon na humawak ng brush at pintura.  Tatlong buwan na rin nung huli akong humawak ng brush at pintura, kaya medyo nanibago ako.  Mukang ok naman ang kinalabasan.

"Le Musicale Masturbateur"
Acrylic on 24x18 inch canvas

"Moony"
Acrylic on 24x18 inch canvas

Gusto ko sanang sumali sa  isang painting workshop para naman magkaroon ako ng "totoong liksyon" sa pagpipinta, at hindi lang basta painting-paintingan.  May nakita ako doon sa Edsa Shang noong isang buwan, pero nanghinayang ako dahil medyo may kamahalan pala ang bayad sa ganoon.  Hay, ipambibili ko nalang ng canvas at pintura ang pambayad.

Sa Miyerkules eh babalik na ulit ako sa pamilihang bayan ng Muntinlupa para muling magtinda ng tinapa.  Medyo magaling na ako bumenta, at marunong na akong mag up-sell ng atsara.  Hindi na ako napapanisan ng paninda, haha. XD  Sa Huwebes naman ang balik ko sa pabrika ng toothpick.  Lunes pa lang naman ngayon.  May dalawang araw pa ako para mag relax.

O sya, sa susunod na lang ulit.  Ayoko ng magsabi na magbabalik ako dito kaagad.  Baka kasi mauwi na naman ako sa paglamon ng sarili kong salita.  Sabi ng isa kong kaibigan na napapadpad dito, para daw akong kabute, bigla na lang sumusulpot at nawawala.  Sus, ang kapal ng muka na magdemand na magsulat ako, ni-hindi naman nagko-comment.

Byerts! XD

Mon Objet D'Art V [yeah, i think i need to put up a new site for my paintings]

Kahapon ko talaga balak gumawa ng panibagong pinta, pero nagkaayaan bigla sa bahay na manood ulit ng sine.  Si Creamer ang dapat kong kasama na manonood ng Dalaw (takte sakit sa batok ng tili ni kris, ampanget pang umarte), pero dahil wala naman akong pera at ayaw ko namang magpalibre sa kanya, sinabi ko na ipagpaliban nalang muna namin ang movie-date.  Prinsipyo ko yan sa buhay - hindi dapat kelan man nagpapalibre ang lalake sa babae (pero kapag kapatid ko ang manlilibre, ok lang, nyahaha). Madalas ay gabi ako gumagawa dahil mas sanay ako na gising sa gabi dahil narin sa nagdaan kong trabaho (hindi sa putahan, pero parang ganun narin ang nature) pero tinamad ako bigla, medyo nandidilim kasi ang paningin ko.  Pakiramdam ko ay mas mabilis na tumatanda ang mga mata ko.  Bihira na nga ako magbasa ng libro ngayon sa dilim eh, at kumakain na rin ako ng kalabasa at kerots at iba pang gulay na pampalinaw ng paningin, pero parang hindi naman gumagana.  Oktubre lang noong 2009 ako nagpagawa ng bagong antipara, tapos ngayon parang kelangan ko na naman ng bago.  Pfft.  Magpapagawa na lang siguro ako ng panibago pag nagkapera na ulit ako.

Iniisip kong baguhin ang psuedo ko, o ang pangalan mismo ng site na ito.  Kasi, errr, nitong mga nakaraang araw, nadiskubri ko na meron din palang ibang blogger na gumagamit ng pangalang yffar at raffy (at napakaselfish ko talaga para isiping ako lang ang pwedeng magtaglay ng pangalang yan sa sangkablogosperyohan, haha).  Hindi naman sa pinagdadamot ko ang pangalan ko, ang akin lang naman eh, sa mundo kung saan hindi naman lahat ay kilala ako sa drama ng totoong buhay, tanging pangalan ko lamang ang maaarin kong iwanan bilang bakas ng pagkakakilanlan.  Hindi ko na ieexplain ng husto.  Pag-iisipan ko muna kung dapat nga ba akong magpalit-ngalan, o kung paninindigan ko nalang na isa lamang ako sa mga bloggers na may napakasimpleng pangalang yffar/raffy.  Pfft.

At para paikliin na nga ang mahabang pasakalye, dahil nahihilo nga ako kagabi, kanina na lang ako nagsimulang gumawa ng panibagong artwork.  Dyaran!



"untitled" Acrylic on 20x16 inch canvas.
Floral abstract using large brush strokes.  It was fun creating this. XD

Isang klase ng brush lang ang ginamit ko dito (1 inch brush), at natutuwa ako na maayos ang kinalabasan ng eksperimento ko.  Mas makulay yung nauna kong ginawa na still-life, pero parang mas gusto ko ang isang ito kasi mas nag-enjoy ako sa pag-gawa nito, kaya naisip ko na ito nalang ang ibibigay ko sa kaibigan kong ikakasal sa susunod na linggo. XD

Matatagalan pa bago ko masundan ito.  Wala na kasi akong canvas.  Marami pa naman akong oil at acrylic paints, pero ibat-ibang shades lang ng green, yellow, at red.  Kung marami lang sana akong pera pambili ng canvas/plywood/cardboard, mas mapapadalas ang pag-eeksperimento ko.  Kaso, kailangang magtipid, so tiis muna sa libog ko sa pagpipinta, haha. XD

Byerts!



Mon Objet D'Art IV

Here is a new work I made yesterday (yep, my first in 2011) which I plan to give as a wedding gift to a very good friend.  Ikakasal sila in two week's time.  Wala akong extrang cash pambili ng regalo, so ok na siguro ang isang simpleng painting.  Again, I'm not a schooled artist, kaya wag sana masyadong laitin, haha.  Titigil din ako pag naubos na ang pintura ko. XD

"untitled" Acrylic and Oil on 20x16 inch canvas

I might do another one tomorrow.  Pagpipilian ko nalang kung alin ang mas magandang ibigay na regalo.  Kung hindi man ako makagawa, baka yan na lang talaga ibigay ko.

Below is another simple work I started last week (or last year, technically), as requested by my sister.  This is completely her idea.  Gusto daw nya ng teddybear na may passport - ibibigay daw nya sa kaibigan nyang papaalis ng bansa.  Ewan ko dun, aalis na ng bansa gusto pang bigyan ng bitbitin.  Hindi pa yan tapos, may kung ano pa syang pinapagawang shit dyan.

Acylic on 12x9 inch canvas

Tinatamad na akong tapusin yung teddybear-project nya.  Bahala na kung sipagin pa ako.

O sya.  Byerts! XD

Setting the Holiday Mood [new title]

Christmas won't be as much as fun as last year on two counts. One, I'm unable to find a job I really like (like, not need), and two, I have no money to buy gifts. I'm hoarding what's left of my little dough and I'm trying not to waste it so I'm spending a lot of my time at home. The only time I went out to have fun was last Thursday. It was Serg's birthday and booze was free - thank Gawd, alcohol! In the local news, both cases against Hayden Kho and Hubert Webb were dismissed. Well, I don't care much about Halili, but I feel sorry for Mr. Vizconde because I really think Webb is the culprit.  (It's obvious that I'm telling about the local news for the lack of better things to say). Pfft... oh well, I don't really give a flying fuck about Kho and Webb. Really.

I feel soooo sad that it's Christmas and I'm broke. Pfft. Paano na ang pamilya, mga kaibigan, at mga inaanak ko? Call me materialistic, but you'd know that I love you, or care about you, if I spend money on you. Please don't lecture me about different ways of showing love other than giving gifts. I know and I recognize them all. It's just that, with me showing love to others, giving gifts is the easiest. Besides, money is something that I don't have lots of, so I really value it. Words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, and acts of service are the other love languages that I appreciate and recognize.  It's me expressing these love languages to others that I'm having trouble with. I'm really sad (and I'm saying this again, I know) but this isn't depression - though I've called this as such countless times before. What I used to know as depression is really dissatisfaction, and you may call this a case of paradigm shift. Wanting what I don't have (moolah) and taking the things I have for granted, just like what many other people do to make their already complicated lives more complicated - is nothing but dissatisfaction.  For me, it's the root of all sadness.  It's funny that I'm aware of this, yet here I am whining about being broke and sad and blah blah shit blah. Hmmkei, I really shouldn't be sad, because I'm lucky I have a home and family! Many people don't have both.

Oh...love? What is it? Pfft.

Well, sorry dear bloggy, your parent is a bore. When you're not able to go out and record, things don't happen that much. I just felt I needed to write something here so you'd know I'm alive.

Not much to blather about today, so I'll just post my new paintings (or stained cloth, if you prefer calling it that way) I made last week.



Acrylic on 20 x 14 inch canvas

  

Acrylic on 18 x 12 inch canvas



There's actually another one, but I'll post it some other time.  Wait, how about my paintings as Christmas presents?  Hmmm.... never actually thought of it.  Sounds like a good idea, but, errrr, I don't have new canvases.  Oh well.  I'm not good in giving hugs and kisses, but that's all I have.  Tsaka pag-ibig, katatagan, at pag-asa.  Babawi na lang ako next year.  Promise.

Byerts!





I Doodle

Kapatid (kaninang tanghali):  "Kuya, muka kang pusang-gala-na-hindi-nakatulog."

Huh?  Ayos sa ginamit na pang-uri* ang kapatid ko ah, pusang-gala-na-hindi-nakatulog.  Pfft.  Tumingin ako sa salamin.  Muka nga.

*(salamat sa pagwawasto, Klet Makulet) XD

Mon Objet D'Art III

Had too much of slothful moments the past few days (weeks/months, actually), so I decided to edit my previous works and reapply oil paints.  They look better now (I think).



"Under the Bloody Sky" Oil on 18x24 inch pre-stretched white canvas





a closer look of the Old barn



"Efetsem" Oil on 30x20 inch pre-stretched white canvas

Both are, ahemmmm, for sale [if anyone is interested (baka sakali lang) - haha, parang may bibili].

Below are my most recent works in acrylic.  Pls don't mind the colours and the styles I used.  I'm not a schooled artist, you know.  I'm a learning painter and I'm pretty much trying to discover my own style.

"Into the Misty Woods" Acrylic on 15x21 plywood



"Untitled" Acrylic on 15x21 plywood



Both were painted on wood (plywood, and they're back to back - tipid mode, haha) as I still don't have canvas.  Well, it doesn't really matter whether I paint on a real canvas or not, i'm just practicing anyway.  I enjoyed creating those heavy strokes in the painting showed in the last pic.  It's inspired by a painting I saw in the ManilArt exhibit.  I'm not sure what this style/genre is called, but it looks more like of the expressionism (check out Stary Night by Van Gogh).

This is all for now.  Ulitin ko lang, for sale yung dalawang oil painting, teee heee!  XD  Byerts!

Mon Objet D'Art Part 2

I'm hot. Yes, I still feel feverish and I am not really in the best mood, but heck - I've got new paintings to show and I'm just too darn excited to flaunt them here.

Here's part 2 of mon' objet d'art:

"Efetsem" oil on 30x20 canvas

Above is my first attempt to create a nude painting. I call this "Efetsem". It's oil on 30x20 pre-streched canvas. Let me tell you: the title is derived from FHM. Got it?

"Doon sa Hacienda Estrella" oil on 15x20 canvas

I call the above painting "Doon sa Hacienda Estrella". It's oil on 15x20 inch pre-stretched white canvas. Estrella is my mother's name. I may not be able give my mother a house and lot, well, at least in a painting there's a Hacienda on her name.

"Frustrated Circles" oil on 10x15 canvas

The third painting is a failed attempt to create an abstract using the excess of the paints I used in Hacienda. Arrggh. I didn't get the look I was initially trying to create - and it got me really frustrated. So instead of throwing the canvas, I just played around with the remaining paint and created this circles of frustration (and in frustration). Okay, I know it doesn't really hold a sense of art. I'm aware of it too so you don't have to shove it at my face.

"Under the Bloody Sky" oil on 18x24 canvas

The painting above is titled "Under the Bloody Sky", oil on 18x24 inch pre-stretched white canvas. This is the last work I finished and, so far, my favorite. I'm not really a painter, mind.  I'm just a regular dummy who got nothing better to do at home. I think I already mentioned in my previous posts how I came to like oil painting. I'm enjoying it. It may sound a cliche, but painting has become a passion for me - an outlet for my creative juice and for my pent-up emotions and frustrations. I have so many of those.

I'm still not working, but hopefully I get to get a job before the month ends. All the bumming and doing nothing at home were, in a way, covered by my new hobby. My first 3 paintings were made during the day, and the rest were made at night - when all the people at home were sleeping. For one, I hate being distracted, and two, I like isolation (when I want it). Don't mistake that for being anti-social because I'm not. I also go to parties and I never say no to any inuman. But most of the time, I prefer to be alone. Being moody is part of my entirety and I get distracted and irritated easily. I remember how distracted I was when I was doing my draped woman painting outside, in the garage. The house next door was being renovated and the construction workers' attentions were at me, or should I say at my draped woman, while I was painting. I wanted to scream do-your-job-and-stop-watching-me-you-dimwits!!! But I didn't. I hate being watched.

Saw the movie Grown Ups last week.  The movie was fun, and it sort of brought me some good memories of my childhood. I watched the movie alone as it wasn't planned. I got irritated at home (i'm not going to tell here why) so I decided to just go out and chillax before I lose my temper and explode like a loaded cannonball (this is how a friend describes me when asked about my temper). With today's technology, most kids now play indoors, thus, missing the fun of getting dirt on their faces and feet and building "libag" on their necks and underarms, haha. Gross. I played almost all the known larong-kalye. I played holen, tumbang preso, tsato, taguan, habulan, basketbol, patintero, text (comic skits from local movies) and cards (nba, trump, magic), trumpo, pogs (yung sa coke), tatsing, goma, kalog, gagamba (spider derby), bike, and the list goes on and on. Favorite ko yung pagpunta namin sa Aplaya (part of Laguna da Bay in Alabang) kapag baha, haha. To a child, playing at the lake during a flood is as fun as swimming in a pool. It was fun, pero isang beses napalo ako ng tatay ko kasi nahuli na naliligo kami sa Aplaya. Haaaay... I remember the days. Ay, hahaha, nga pala, pinaka favorite ko pala yung pag doorbell namin sa mga bahay-bahay sabay takbo. Wooo hooo!  It isn't a game but it was fun!  The adrenaline rush it brought us! There's still a lot of games I din't mention. I wonder how my childhood friends are doing now. This is a long shot, but to Ace, Noel, Robin, Bryan, Joel (na nakasuntukan ko ng 2 beses kasi siya ang nagsumbong sa tatay ko na nagpunta kami sa aplaya hahaha...childhood rage, you know), and to the rest of the boys and girls of L&B2 in the 90's...sana ok lang kayong lahat.

I am over a quarter of a century old, and this qualifies me on the late-twenties-bracket.  Geez. I want to stay young and be forever 20. I'm afraid to grow old. It scares me.

It's almost midnight. I'm done.  This isn't really a good way to end a post, but hey this is my blog.  Bite me.

ManilArt 2010

Had a great day at the ManilArt 2010 Contemporary Art Fair at the Mall of Asia, SMX Convention Centre. It was very inspiring to see the works of the country's finest contemporary artists.  Thanks to my friends at Boston Gallery who gave me a free pass.

Tinatamad ako magtype, here are some pics I managed to take.

SMX Convention Center H4 -ManilArt 2010

The Ticket! :-)

Yeabah!  It's free! :-)  You see...it's always good to have some connection in the business. :-)

This work has an "added-value" light and audio effect. One of my fave at the fair.

  

The guy beside me is Demet Dela Cruz...creator of "Push the Red Button to Activate" - that's the mixed-media painting behind us.

(Oil on canvas)

  

(Mixed media on canvas)

(Mixed media on canvas)

(Oil on canvas)

Metal Sculpture (the intricately designed wings move - run by electricity, of course.)

(Oil on canvas)

Mixed Media on wood. Can you find the hidden Mickey? hehehe..

(Oil on canvas)

(Oil on canvas)

Dedicated to the call center peeps. (Oil on canvas)

(Metal sculpture)

(Oil on canvas)

Futuristic Bull (again, not the title)

(Oil on canvas)

(Oil on canvas)

(Oil on canvas)

(Oil on canvas)

(Acrylic on canvas)

 

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A group of young artists (I assume they're younger than my age), preparing the stage-wall.

The ManilArt'10 will run until the 1'st of August, at the SMX Convention Center (Mall of Asia).  Tickets are sold at 200Php.  Souvenirs like shirts, posters, umbrella, and ManilArt'10 catalogue are also being sold at the venue.  Believe me - the exhibit is more than your money's worth.  XD