Speaking in Paradox

Got drunk last night, got home past 4am, and now I am feeling depressed again. Jeez...

Will I ever learn???

I hate you, but I love you. Arrgghh... I'm speaking in paradox now. No, I hate you. But I really love you. Just leave me alone...please.

Don't Cha Try To Define Me Own Life

Pfffft...

Yeah. I was really feeling bad a few moments ago. My day did not end well. I've gone thru a bit of argument with a friend. I'm ok now. Better. I believe I am nice, but sometimes I can't help myself but be bitchy especially when people try to define my own life... stuff like, "you have a lot of unresolved issues in your life" or "i know you better than you know yourself" and the sort of. Arrgghh... I hate it. I appreciate the comments and the criticisms, but would appreciate it more had they done it in a more positive and uplifting way. And I hate being compared to other people! Tell me my bad sides but never compare me to anyone...please oh please! I know harsh words really drill deeper in heads, but those words will not do me any good at present time - cos I don't feel like entertaining any flying fucking comments about my life right now. Yeah... Just for now, give me the right to refuse to listen. Let me take care of me own life.

Nuff of sad news.

Dyaran!

Good news... It's my mom's birthday! :-) Yeahey!!! And today is her 51'st birthday (10 years ago, LOL). Naku baka magalit si mommy pinagkalat ko pa dito edad nya, harhar.

I'm just sad about the fact that it's her birthday and I am broke. I have not gotten my first salary yet. Sucks. Ooppss... by the way... I already accepted another job offer. And as their Mantra says, they're "The Best Place to Bank" and "The Best Place to Work." Hmmmm....Ok, enough teasing. I'm with HSBC now. Teee heee!

I don't know what they plan to do today. Maybe we'll just have a special dinner outside, I dunno. I'm the one who usually suggests stuff like this when something needs to be celebrated. But I have nothing to spend so I am reserving them, my siblings, the privilege to decide on what to do for my mother's birthday. I am excited. :-) Weeee...

Welll, I'm still in the process of getting myself together. At the rate I am doing, I'm sure it would take me a lot of time to recover. But I am trying to take small steps each day. A gradual process for self-recovery. I can say I am ok right now, but not really good. A big part is still missing. Pffft...

But hey, it's mom's Bday! Better forget about all those blues for now! Yeahah!!!