ManilArt 2010

Had a great day at the ManilArt 2010 Contemporary Art Fair at the Mall of Asia, SMX Convention Centre. It was very inspiring to see the works of the country's finest contemporary artists.  Thanks to my friends at Boston Gallery who gave me a free pass.

Tinatamad ako magtype, here are some pics I managed to take.

SMX Convention Center H4 -ManilArt 2010

The Ticket! :-)

Yeabah!  It's free! :-)  You see...it's always good to have some connection in the business. :-)

This work has an "added-value" light and audio effect. One of my fave at the fair.

  

The guy beside me is Demet Dela Cruz...creator of "Push the Red Button to Activate" - that's the mixed-media painting behind us.

(Oil on canvas)

  

(Mixed media on canvas)

(Mixed media on canvas)

(Oil on canvas)

Metal Sculpture (the intricately designed wings move - run by electricity, of course.)

(Oil on canvas)

Mixed Media on wood. Can you find the hidden Mickey? hehehe..

(Oil on canvas)

(Oil on canvas)

Dedicated to the call center peeps. (Oil on canvas)

(Metal sculpture)

(Oil on canvas)

Futuristic Bull (again, not the title)

(Oil on canvas)

(Oil on canvas)

(Oil on canvas)

(Oil on canvas)

(Acrylic on canvas)

 

point-shoot

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A group of young artists (I assume they're younger than my age), preparing the stage-wall.

The ManilArt'10 will run until the 1'st of August, at the SMX Convention Center (Mall of Asia).  Tickets are sold at 200Php.  Souvenirs like shirts, posters, umbrella, and ManilArt'10 catalogue are also being sold at the venue.  Believe me - the exhibit is more than your money's worth.  XD

PRESENTING: Mon objet d'art!

FYI: The title is a French phrase for "my work of art".  Ok...I will try to make this post as short as possible. Gawd. Tamad. I just really want to show you guys what I have done so far with my new hobby. I started learning oil painting sometime last week. Yeehee! XD I didn't take any formal lesson, mind. I just made a few research on my own about oil and acrylic painting, studied it, bought the basic tools, and started hitting the canvas a day after.

I've already tried doing some sketches using charcoal and graphite before. I believe I posted some of them here. Anyways, since I have nothing better to do at home aside from growing hair and belly and digesting a few of Neil Gaiman's (geeez...It has been almost a month since I started reading the American Gods and I've only finished half of the book to date), I decided to start a new hobby, which is painting. How did it start? Hmmm.... A friend invited me to see her friend's exhibit last June in Yuchengco Museum in Ayala, and then early this month I also got invited to see another exhibit of Manuel Garibay in Boston Gallery in Cubao. Well, to make the long-boring-story short, I got inspired seeing all those paintings. Though not really good, I knew that I can draw using pencil, but I never actually tried handling a brush and using oil and acrylic paints. Well, I did some water coloring in elementary but that doesn't count. And so, after buying the basic tools (which are quite expensive, especially the brushes and paints), I started to, errr, you know, play around with it. I didn't want to waste the paints as they are really expensive, so I decided to do a simple design that any elementary kid can do using crayons. Below is the first (ever) painting I did. Notice the contrast in texture of each color (naks, may paganito-ganito pang shitness, akala mo professional, haha).

(no title yet..)

(dyaran...naks, hehe)

Paintings are supposed to be titled, but I don't know what to call this one yet. I'll give it a name someday, don't worry. This is a simple design painted on a 10 x 14 inch pre-stretched white canvas, which is already primed. Skilled painters normally prepare their own, but for beginners like me, you can get a primed and ready to use canvas at any National Book Store. I started this using acrylic paints on the first layer (this is some tip I found on the internet) so it dries easily. On the second layer, I used oil paints with a bit a linseed oil and liquin original to make the oil flow smoother (I was experimenting so i tried using both). The rule here is "fatter-over-leaner". That means the oil paint on each layer should have more volume than the paint below it. I had to let it dry for about 5 days before I started on the third layer...and dyaran...that's it! XD Simple, but it's something I can definitely hang on my wall.

Next is my second painting, and ahem...I never thought it would turn out this good. (Drum rolls please....)

(no title yet.  not bad for a beginner, eh?)

Okay, I know it's not the GOOD good, but hey, I never painted before and this is just my second work! And yes, I am proud of it!  Like the first painting, I also do not have a name for this yet. This is oil on 15 x 20 inch pre-stretched white canvas. The first painting, which is very plain and simple, took me more than a week to finish. But this painting, which I did just this afternoon, only took me about 3 hours (let me hear you say, "What?!"). Unlike the first painting, which was done by layers (I do not know what technique it's called), I used the "wet-on-wet" technique on this one.  I watched some learn-how-to-paint videos in youtube and that is where I learned about this wet-on-wet technique. I love the clouds and the mountain on this painting. I wanted to make the mountain bigger but I was afraid I might fuck up (thus wasting the canvas and the oil - which means wasting money), so I decided to make it small to be on the safe side.  I was just experimenting.  Believe me, even I was really amazed that my first landscape painting didn't look bad (pretty good for a beginner like me, huh? teee heee!). XD  I would have to let both paintings dry thoroughly, maybe wait for 5 or 6 months, before I can put on varnish to protect it.

A friend in facebook once said I have so many talents - hmmm. I told him I'm an apprentice of many things but master of nothing. Which is true. But heck, I have talents! Weee! XD

It's in the blood! [on being hot and rich]

Went out today with Creamer and watched the Twilight Saga, Eclipse.  Teee heee! XD.  I haven't read the novel (never will), so as expected, I bugged creamer with many questions while we were watching the picture (thank you so much Creamer for the patience. XD)  We also watched the New Moon when it was shown last year, but, honestly, I don't remember much about the movie.

I'm not going to write a review about Eclipse.  Pfft, many already did and I don't want to add up to it.  I liked the movie, but it's not really the best.  Disney-Pixar's animated movie, UP, still tops my chart.  [Errr, what's the connection?].  Quite a few quotable quotes, but the one I remember the most is, "I am hotter than you.", Jacob to Edward.  Haha, o sige ikaw na hotter!  He actually meant warmer, as in body temperature, not the other hotter that you have in mind now. 

Nasa dugo lang yan! (It's in the blood!)

Was watching TV Patrol earlier and one of the news was the recent list of Forbes Asia's Richest Men in the Philippines.  Henry Sy, still, is the richest with an estimated net worth of $5 US Billion (woooohoooooo!!!), followed by Lucio Tan with $2.1 US Billion, and John Gokongwei Jr. with $1.5 US Billion.  Geez....What are they going to do with that money?  Today's exchange rate: 1 U.S. dollar = 46.4900046 Philippine pesos.  If we do the math, $5 US Billion is equivalent to Php232.45 Billion.  Imagine that!  If I were Henry Sy, and let's say, if I were to live another 100 yrs, (given that each yr has 365.25days, and assuming that the exchange rate remains the same in the next 100yrs), I could spend up to 6,364,309.00Php each day!  That's spending around 265,179.54Php every hour in 100 years!  The total population of the Philippines is estimated at 94,013,200 million according to National Statistics Office.  With this data, Henry Sy can give Filipinos 2,450.00 Php each and still live with Php2.1 Billion.  Holy flying cow! 

That was just here in the Philippines.  Just imagine if we talk about the richest man in the world.

In my current financial and economic status, I effing envy Henry Sy! @_@

We have a copy, at home, of Entrepreneur Philippines' "Success Secrets of the Country's 50 Top Entrepreneurs".  Of course Henry Sy is in the book and I learned a few facts about him.  Chinese immigrant Henry Sy came to Manila from China (where else) before the second World War.  He was only 12, and his family had no money when they migrated  He only started attending formal school when they got here.  Yep, he was already 12 when he started Grade one.  He entered college at age 26, but because of his booming buy and sell business at that time (selling shoes, I believe), he had to quit college after two years, and concentrate on his business.  Now, he's (dyaran!) the Asia's shopping mall king, and one of the planet's wealthiest people. That's a real rugs-to-riches story.  And more than 40 years after he quit college, De La Salle University conferred on him an honorary doctorate in business management in 1999.  He was already the shopping mall king before he got his doctorate.  You see, not having a formal college education is never a hindrance to become financially successful.  (So yeah, quit school jerks!  Stop wasting your time!  Diploma is just a fucking piece of recycled paper that doesn't really hold a meaning! - ok, now this is just a joke.  A college degree is always a plus).  Success came to Sy only as a result of hardwork, and errr....I do not know. @_@

Here's a Golden Rule according to Henry Sy: 

There is no such thing as overnight success or easy money.  If you fail, do not be discouraged; try again.  When you do well, do not change your ways.  Success is not just good luck; it is a combination of hard work, good credit standing, opportunity, readiness and timing.  Success will not last if you do not take care of it.

-Entrepreneur Philippines' "Success Secrets of the Country's 50 Top Entrepreneurs".

Henry Sy (ID photo, hehe)

I'm feeling inspired now.  Teee heee! XD  But wait, how come the richest men in the Philippines are Chinese (Sy, Tan, Gokongwei,)?  What happened to the many intelligent and hard working Filipinos their age? @_@

Siguro nasa dugo lang talaga.  (Maybe it's in the blood.)

Well, I'm going to bed now and dream of sleeping in bed of billions of dollars with Ashley Greene (Alice in the twilight saga, just so you know) in my arms. Teee heee! XD

Sabado, July 03, 2010 ()

Left home at quarter to 5 for my morning walk, and decided to take my jogging-route the other way around.  From home, I walked down the road to RITM - only to find out that their gate doesn't open till 6am.  Arrggh. Hence, I went back and took the original route. Its just the same distance anyway.  It's not their main gate that connects RITM to our village, just so you know.  It's just a small gate at the rear part of RITM, only passable for humans (and acting-humans).  I believe RITM is paying some amount to our Home Owner's Association so their employees and patients (usually suspected SARS, aH1N1 and other viral and diabolically-threatening-disease carriers) can pass through our Village.  Why am I telling you these?  Errr...sorry, just lack of interesting info to share.

Wait, where's my "Congratulations-You-Posted-4-Entries-in-Just-One-Week" banner shitnitz here? Haha.... I really don't have much to talk about at this early morning, but I got nothing better to do so I might as well type something.

I don't feel like blathering today.  Here are some photos instead, which were taken earlier this morning during my walk-slash-jogging.

• South Super Highway, a few minutes before 5am.  Crossing the bridge over SLEX, going to Bayanan.

• Filinvest Corp City now.  I just passed the Asian Hospital and the creepy abandoned building.  (Why did I not take a photo of the Asian Hospital?)

• Signage already says where this road is going, duh.  Where else....

• To the jungle ..... at 5:27am.  Weather was perfect!

• Some flower-bearing tree along the road.

• A building in the middle of the jungle?  Hmmmkei, it's not some building.  It's RITM.

• Sunrise at 5:48am.  It was supposed to be bright and beautiful, but the true colors didn't show.  Arrgh.  The photo appeared darker because of the sun's reflection.  This photo was taken using my 3yo N73 phone, not some expensive dlsr, hmmmkei?!  My phone's camera can adjust to the ambient light source, but duh, I'm jogging... I don't have the time to reduce the exposure setting.  Point and shoot.

• The Palms Country Club a hundred or so meters away.  (I've been here twice during CVG-Alabang's Christmas party, 2007 and 2008)

• Do I need to tell more?

• Finally, home!  Hahaha...ok, this is not ours.  Teee heee! XD  This is just some house I passed by while walking back home.  I thought it deserves a picture.  I'm going to rob this house build myself a house like this someday.  Teee heee! XD

Gawd....I'm tired.  Expect more pics in the future.  Ok, I'll bring a real camera next time. XD  Meme taym. Z.

WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE

Been doing some jogging-slash-walking for two weeks now; 2 hours everyday. Ok, I admit, it's not really everyday, but every other day.  But I'm getting there.  Used to do it every day last year till I became totally lazy and stopped hitting the pavement.  And so, I must call this my-second-attempt-to-achieving-fitness.  Teee heee! XD.  Mind, I don't plan to be slim or have a well-defined abs like those gayish-models, of Bench underwear, that every woman swoon over.  Arrggh, for chirsake!  I just want to be healthy and lose weight. That's just it.

I started taking a new route in my jogging last week. I used to just jog-slash-walk around Camella and Pleasant Village, maybe less than half-a-mile walk, then head back home. But now, from home, I walk down to Pleasant Village to Bayanan, and walk the National road to Festival mall (stop over at 7-11 at Festival to get something to drink), and walk around the Filinvest Corp City to The Palms, till I reach RITM (Research Institute for Tropical Medicine), and do some more walking-slash-jogging around the area before going home. I walk no less than 2 miles each day!

Ah-huh! XD

The only hard part of what I'm doing is waking up - which is a real drag. Ugh. While I was jogging the other day, I found a few interesting things which I was able to take a few shots of, with the help of my 3yo N73's 3.2MP camera.

Here they are...

PICTURE1:

Above is a picture of an old (and very creepy) abandoned building located at the back of Festival Mall in Alabang.  It's just across Ospital ng Muntinlupa, which is a hundred and some meters away from The Asian Hospital.  I've been around Alabang all my life, but that was the first time I saw this building.  What makes it even creepier, aside from the broken glass windows and the peeling paint on its walls,  is the statue of a woman in front of the building; which appears to me like a naked, virgin, young woman bound and restricted at a pole affixed to a stone image of what seems to be the devil's skull.  Its face has an unfinished hasty look, although its breasts and vulva and body were curved with elaborate care.  I was imagining the virgin was stabbed a few times to bleed, and the blood rushed from its flesh down to the bottom of the devil's skull where her blood was collected as a sacrifice and offering to the gods of the underworld . After an ample amount of blood was collected, the virgin was put down to the ground; and was further abused like a sex doll bathing in its own blood, fucked in its cunt and mouth and ass...all at once...and finally, killed by slitting its throat slowly with a knife made of stone, till the head fell off from its body, and blah blah blah... Ok, I'll stop here. My imagination is gross, sorry.   If you know what this building is, please let me know. XD

PICTURE 2:

This is a mini waterfall I discovered near RITM (Research Institute for Tropical Medicine).  The Road to RITM, from The Palms, is like a mini-jungle, except for the asphalt road.  Speaking of of the jungle...

PICTURE 3:

Next picture is a dead snake, which I suspect as a young reticulated python.  It's not small.  Its body is thicker than my chubby thumb, and estimating its length, it's probably more or less 2-foot long.   I wonder what happened to it. 

PICTURE 4:

And here's another picture of a dead creature from the mini-jungle of Alabang.  I'm sorry about the quality of the photos, mind, I am using a cellphone-camera.  Its color almost blend with the asphalt, but try to look at it closely and you'll realize it's a dead turtle.  Looks like it got run over by a car.  Poor turtle.  It looks small in this photo, but it's shell is actually bigger than the size of my palm.  If I will include its protruding head to its lenght, it is probably 7in long.

I also wanted to take some photos of the dead frogs on the road (frogs....they're many!), but I assume you wouldn't want to see them.  Tomorrow is another jogging-slash-walking day for me..  Who knows, I might find a tiger, or maybe a lion, this time.   I just hope it's a dead one.  XD

A SHORT STORY

Once upon a time, a strangely hungry family went out to celebrate the mother's birthday. They sure ate a lot....

But the mother was not satisfied...

and so were her children....

so the brilliant man of the family thought of something.... (dyaran!!!)

He bought a big bowl of Halo-halo. "Dessert for everyone!", he said.

But ended up consuming it by himself.

Tsk tsk tsk... THE END.

Wait!!! That's not how the story ended! The brilliant man didn't eat the gigantic serving of halo-halo alone for chrisake! He ate just half of it. Teeee heee! XD

Went out with my family (minus one - the eldest left early for work, and a soul - Dad, who prolly was with us for all we know ) this afternoon to celebrate our mom's birthday. Just a simple celebration, as usual. This year, we went to Max's at Festival Mall in Alabang. I think we were at Gilligans in Trinoma the other year. Anyways, we arrived in the restaurant a few minutes before 5pm, which made us a bit early for their "Chicken-all-you-can" promo, which starts at 6pm. It's tempting, because you get to have as much "sarap-to-the-bones" Max's chicken for only 165 Php (listen, I wasn't paid to do this, and I'm not promoting it in any way, ok). But it's my mom's birthday, so it's not really the right time to spend reluctantly.  Sky is the langit, I mean, the limit! - sagot ni Ate Be! Haha! I honestly don't like the promo anyway - it sounded to me like "cholesterol-all-you-can".

Then...

Tik-ti-la-ok!!! What the crock is that??? Everybody turned their heads to the direction where the sound was coming from. It was somewhere at the corner of the restaurant to my right...where two ladies were seated. I looked around and saw everyone with the what-the-fuck-is-that-clucking-stupid-chicken-all-about face, while the two ladies had the "no-no-no-it-wasn't-us" look. Hahaha... The speaker was on the ceiling atop the table where the two ladies where seated. We initially thought it's a promo similar to what they used to have, and that they're going to give each table a special dessert or sort of. But we were wrong. The clucking chicken was their signal for the start of the "chicken-all-you-can" promo. I could have gotten what it was had I known the time was 6pm.

It was a very simple celebration, but it was fun. Us going out together rarely happens. Looking forward to the next one. XD

NEW ADVENTURE...

PREPOST NOTE: I was initially considering putting this blogsite down for good. But I realized this blog, which you are currently reading, has my name on its title, so, more or less, it holds some meaning to me. So I decided to keep yffar's world, and make it my official-happy-site, and keep all the emoish-litany-blahs away. Expect to see more happy thoughts in this site moving forward. Future blahness and anything negative will be thrown to my other site.

Haven't been doing much these days. So, to make my slothful days, more or less, a little productive, I proactively volunteered to learn to cook. I didn't ask anyone to teach me, mind you. I taught myself. Teee heee! XD Yep, I'm learning to cook. Cooking was one task I thought I'd never learn to sit through. Hotdogs, other than eggs and bacon (hmmmkei, include here anything that only needs frying), were the only ones I can do. Well, until now, I can honestly say I do not really enjoy cooking (it's always a mess when I cook), but it is always good to learn to cook a few dishes. This month, I have mastered (?) a few pinoy dishes, and it's a great feeling to have someone ask you to make them something because they love how you make it. I am talking about my Spaghetti, which I want to call, Yffar's Spaghetti. Teee heee heee! XD My family just love it! My first attempt was more on the Italian-style-side, which I prefer, but my family being wanna-be-candidates for diabetes want my Spaghetti pinoy-style....sweet! I've already cooked it a couple of times, and, again, I'm going to make my mom one tomorrow because it's her birthday! Dyaran! XD Didn't get a chance to take some pics of my mastery before, but I have here some photos of the few dishes I cooked recently. Glad I was able to take some shots just before my family consumed everything.

Fried Pork Strips (marinated in self-made-BBQ sauce) with Fried Potatoes and a Special Dressing (I initially didn't know what to do with the pork. I didn't even know what to call this. Whew, glad it ended up good. )

Pork Nilaga. (This is the first Pinoy Dish I ever cooked. Not bad for a first timer. Teee hee! XD)

Tofu Sisig. Yummy! XD (healthy pulutan)

Other pinoy dishes I can make are Menudo and Pork/Chicken Adobo. Include here my Fried Chicken that can match Jollibee's Chicken Joy (now you know I'm bragging). I will try to take some photos and post them in the future. Okay, okay, okay, I know these are easy dishes, but hey, I never cooked before, and I am learning. XD

REMEMBERING TATAY

Birthday's over but nothing has changed. I only got a year older and that was it. Monday was one of the saddest birthdays I had. It started ok but didn't end well. Sorry, but I won't be blathering about that here. Today is my dad's death anniversary. And I want to use this small piece of cyberspace to write about him.

"June 17, 2004, Thursday. Around 8pm. My father died, but I didn't cry a single tear. In fact, I was quite relieved that my dad's suffering finally ended. My heart wasn't hurting at all, but my mind was not at peace. I didn't know what to do. I could not even pray calmly. Yes...I wasn't hurting, but my mind was lost. Or maybe I was hurting, but I was more relieved than hurt. My mom and all my sisters, except the eldest who was on her way home from work in Makati, were around my dad when he took his last breath. I was sitting on the sofa. Only a thin wall was separating my parent's room and the living room. I heard my sisters and my mom talking to my dad. I'm sure they were talking to him, but their voices weren't clear, like they were crying. They were whispering to my dad, until I heard my mom. Yes she was crying. And suddenly, her crying got louder. At that very moment I knew that my father was gone. I felt my mother's pain. But I didn't cry a single tear."

I'm the fourth child, and the only boy in the family. I can say I was my dad's favourite. My mom and sisters told me many times about how my dad was jumping in joy when I was born. I can say I was a daddy's boy... taking me with him wherever he does his sideline jobs on weekends. He knew a lot of things, and was a perfect handyman. One of the things he was best at is fixing car computer boxes, which, when I was 9 or 10, were nothing more than a green metal board with miniature buildings perfectly portrayed by capacitors and resistors soldered to it. Later I found out my dad was making around 10K pesos in every computer box fixed. Now I wish I know how to do it.

At age 10, I started to learn to drive... on my own. During that time, my father was teaching my other sister, who was 7yrs older than myself, to drive. I envied her because she was allowed to drive around the neighborhood. Well, my father also taught me the basics. He taught me how to start the engine, how to switch gears, and how to step on the clutch and the accelerator with control, but he only allowed me to drive the car forward and backward. I wanted to learn more but he said I was too young for serious driving lesson. He said he'd teach me more when I'm older. There was a basketball court outside our house where I can do more than just forward and backward driving, I thought. So being the very impatient and hard-headed me, I took the car keys one day, while he was busy doing something inside the house, and drove the car. I was very excited, and was determined to make history, and make my father proud. I wanted to surprise them. And yes, I did make history. On my first solo-driving attempt, I forgot to switch the gear to neutral and excitedly stepped on the accelerator and hit the clutch sloppily. Then Bang! I hit the washing machine that was standing a few feet away in front of the car. I froze. I didn't know what to do. I knew right there and then I got myself in a big trouble. I thought of restarting the engine to drive the car back to its original place but I was moved by another bang. It was my father. He hit the roof of the car and opened the door angrily and pulled me out by my arm. "Ang tigas ng ulo mo!" - then he hit me on my butt harder than he ever did. I knew I was wrong, and I understood I did something terribly stupid. I was so afraid to say a word, so I just ran back inside the house crying. And that was the end of my driving lesson. I wasn't even able to take the car outside the garage. He never let me hold the wheel after that.

from Remembering Dad (posted on June 17, 2009)

My dad was always with me when I needed him, even in times when I didn't. My father had so many expectations on me, being his only son. He was a perfect handyman, and he wanted me to be like him. He never told me that, but I felt and I knew that's what he and my mom wanted. He didn't do it for a living though. For him, fixing and rebuilding things was a hobby. His hands were very creative. In highschool, I learned to fix electric fan and flat iron, not because I wanted to, but I was told to do so. He said it is important for me to learn such things, especially that I am the man in the family. I felt pressured. I felt even more pressured because my older sister was better than me in fixing things. She had patience, and passion in troubleshooting things...which I didn't have. Everything, for me, was a drag... a big pain in the ass. There was even a time when I wished he'd leave me alone and just let me do what I want. And when I was starting my fourth year in college, he was diagnosed with cancer and was told he only had 6 months left to live. It was the saddest news I heard. Before that, I was thinking it would be liberating to know the time you have left on earth to work on. But after I heard about my father's condition, I realized it wasn't. I hate being told what to do, more so hearing people defining my own life. But being told I only have this amount of time to live is something I never want to hear.

"I didn't cry when Tatay died. But when he was brought to the cemetery, when we had our last chance to see his face before his casket was closed, while he was being put down, I saw myself crying like I never did... because I knew it was the last time we will ever see him... and he's not coming back."

Maybe I'd be better in making choices in life, and maybe my life would be different if he was still here giving me parental guidance. I used to be better with people. I used to be better with myself. But things are different now. I miss Tatay.

[Insert Pre-Birthday-Post Title here] :-)

I'm still alive.

Just surviving. A few hours more and I am officially another year older. Thank Gawd.

I am currently looking for a job. Ok...I haven't really been looking for a job, but I am waiting to get one. How it is going to happen is something...well, I do not know. I want to leave it all to fate. Afterall it is my birthday tomorrow! Good old fate might be nice enough to deliver a perfect job right at my doorstep, teee heee! Come on fate, I am waiting! Wait till all the stars under my zodiac signs are in their perfect locations...wait till the lucky astroligical bodies are aligned... wait till my body and spirit and desires are in sync...yaddah yaddah blah blah... Since I am again entering the call whoring business, I want to make sure that I get into a company I really want to be a part of. I do not enjoy working in this business, so I might as well choose a company that I really like to give myself a little consolation. I just hope they give me a call soon, puhleeeze... as I don't have money anymore. All my financial resources are gone and I am now, what you call, errrr, broke. You see, It is my birthday tomorrow and I am broke. How sad can that be? Working in a call centre is such a drag for me, but then again it is the only decent high paying job I can do. At least it gives me something to support my needs and my family's. Yes...call whoring business...arrghh...my body is sick and tired of it, but I've no better choice at the moment, so I'm sticking with it... for now.

You see, I've been blathering in this blog about my desire of finishing my Mechanical Engineering degree in Mapua but I have not done a thing about it since I stopped from schooling. I admit I need some parental guidance sometimes...maybe a little spanking too. I don't want to study and work at the same time so don't tell me to do just that. I am not that intelligent, ok. What I want to do is work, earn and save more than enough money, then go back to college. Now please tell me to walk my talk! Leaving college wasn't really my fault. It was a very tough time for my family when my father got sick a long time ago, so I willingly gave up my studies temporarily (which now looks permanently). Yes, it wasn't my fault, but I understand it is my responsibility, which, I had been trying to brush off my shoulder. A responsibility that I had been hoping someone in the family would take care of. I'm over that hopeful thinking, and am now taking full responsibility of it. Becoming an engineer was my dream when I was young, but things have changed now. It isn't a dream anymore. It's now, I think, just an option. The best option. Truth is, I really woudn't want to become an engineer now if I enjoy working as a call centre whore, and if titles and diploma do not matter. (This will be a short rant of an undergrad, pfft. Bite me) Why do titles and diploma matter in the first place? It's just a fucking piece of recycled paper. Why do local companies require their applicants to have a college degree when most international call whoring businesses don't? I don't get it. An undergrad can be hired by IBM, Convergys, HSBC, and by an international online research company and get paid very good, but can't get into a high-paying "local company"? Compare the odds. If an undergrad got the brains and talents and the desire, who the hell are they to tell him he's not worthy of a high paying 10am-6pm job? Who the fuck are they to tell him that they're smarter and have more value than him just because they have that fucking piece of laminated paper tucked in their sleeves and he doesn't? Ok, I kept on typing him when I meant I. I tried applying in a company sometime last 2007 and got rejected just because I didn't finish my degree. Did that ever happen to you? If not, you're lucky. According to statistics, 73 percent, of college freshmen, either drops out of college before reaching the senior year, or gets a different course and finishes it elsewhere where tuition is lower. They all want a degree so they can land a good job, preferably outside the country. And our moron government, instead of creating more jobs in the country, encourages its people even more to go and work as slaves abroad! I cannot blame our people if they want to. Who wouldn't, if salary is high and they were given the chance? Even I want to get the hell out of the country, for good. I wrote in my previous post about some "what if's" if fate and the powerful force of the universe chose the Philippines to be the most powerful country in the world and not America. Just imagine the Philippines outsourcing its jobs to the US and getting Americans to work as call centre agents for Filipino-owned companies, and forcing them to speak Tagalog in a neutral accent. Haha. Wouldn't that be great? XD

I'm thinking it might be better for me to just leave my desire of becoming an engineer. Quit jumping from one call centre to another and concentrate on becoming a professional telephone whore. Maybe I wasn't supposed to be an engineer. Maybe I was only placed by the universe in Mapua for a few years to help the future engineers pass their subjects by copying on me during exams. It's nice to work at night anyway, and I've been told many times I have the potential and talent to succeed in the call whoring business, so why am I wasting it? (Ooopss... Oh my Gawd, why am I saying these? Didn't I hate this job?)

I loathe the call whoring business, but I'm afraid my adolescent dream of becoming an engineer, or even just graduating, is slowly becoming a thing in the past. Pfft. A friend told me I have to make up my mind and decide and be serious with life before I get older. The climb is getting tougher each day. So, to the kind-hearted and well-off individuals out there who want to help me go back to college, you may leave a comment with your contact details so we can discuss how you can help me finish my Mechanical Engineering degree and be an engineer. Just think of it as a birthday gift for this talented young guy. LOL.

Pre-birthday cake dala ni Ate Nanz. Ubos to bago pa ako mag-birthday, haha.

AFTERWORD:

I'm jobless, I'm broke, but I'm happy. It's actually fun doing nothing! Well, it gets a little boring sometimes but the overall experience of bumming is still great (come on convince yourself more Raf). This is a pre-birthday post so I'm supposed to be happy. Hooray! XD

Pahinga muna sa EOP!

Pansamantala ko munang pinuputol ang EOP (english only policy) dito sa aking dot com. XD

Wala talaga akong balak magsulat ngayon. Nakakabagot rin kasi kung minsan ang magbato sa blog na ito ng kung ano mang nararamdaman ko. Halos lahat naman kasi ng mga naisusulat ko dito eh panay tungkol sa kalungkutan at depresyon. Malaya sa pakiramdam, oo, na para bang sumusulat ako sa isang napakalaking dingding na kita ng lahat, pero pagkatapos nito eh para bang bigla na lang akong napapaisip kung bakit ko nga ba talaga naisipang magsulat sa dingding ko. Aksaya sa oras, na sana ay napakinabangan ko sa mas makabuluhang paraan. Noong una, akala ko walang nagbabasa dito sa aking lungga, pero nagulat ako, dahil meron din pala! Sinubukan ko kanina na i-google ang aking lungga, Yffar's World. At wag ka, meron akong nakita na bumoto pala sa aking blog sa isang pakontest sa mundo nang blogasperyo noong nakaraang taon...ang Top 10 Emergerging Influencial Blogs of 2009. Whoaah...oo, sensya na, sobrang late ko na bago nalaman ang tungkol sa pakontest na ito, at nagulat talaga ako na merong bumoto sa akin, patunay na meron din palang mga napapadpad sa aking mumunting dot com at nagbabasa ng mga naisulat ko. Isang nominasyon lang naman ang nakuha ko, at ito ay galing sa isang blogeryo na nagtatago sa pseudo na Lio Loco. Salamat Lio! Hindi ko naisip na merong palang mag-iisip na "influencial" ang aking dot com. Medyo matagal-tagal rin kasi na halos malulungkot na panulat ang naipapaskil ko sa blog ko. Gusto ko sanang baguhin ang tema ng dot com ko, para naman makaimpluwensya ako sa tamang paraan. Bilang isang blogeryo, may responsibilidad ako sa mga mambabasa ko, pati narin sa mga hindi sadyang napapadpad sa aking dot com.

Sobrang sawa na ako sa paggawa ng wala. Sa mga ganitong pagkakataon masarap gumawa ng mga bagay na bihira ko lang gawin, gaya ng, errr, pagsulat sa dot com ko. Nangangalahati na ang 2010, at apat na post palang ang nagagawa ko dito sa aking dot com. Malayo ito kumpara sa 65 posts ko last year. Kaya naman naisip ko na pansamantala munang hayaan ang mga daliri ko na tumipa ng ilang letra, at dahil gusto ko na medyo maging kakaiba, hahayaan ko munang sumayaw ang aking mga daliri sa himig ng tagalergs. Oo, bawal muna ang EOP! Bihira lang ako magsulat sa sariling wika. Sa kagustuhan ko na mas malayo at mas malawak na mambabasa ang abutin ng aking dot com, napag-isipan ko na inglesh ang gawin kong opisyal na lingwahe dito. Minsan lang itong mga ganitong pagkakataon na pinipili kong magtipa sa tagalerg, na, totoo namang, hindi rin ako magaling. Kung ang magsulat sa inglesh o sa tagalergs ang mas mahirap, hindi ko masabi. Meron kasing mga pagkakataon na kusa na lang ang paglabas ng mga malalaim, malaman, at masining na mga kataga mula sa utak ko, inglesh man o tagalog. Kusang lumalabas. Hindi ito nangyayari ngayon, maniwala ka, haha. Kita naman na hindi masining ang pagsulat ko ngayon. Pero pakiramdam ko, mas "liberating" talaga ang pagsulat sa tagalerg. Mas malaya sa pakiramdam dahil hindi ako takot na magkamali. Walang maninita ng akda ko sakali mang may mga paglabag ako sa balarila kung tagalergs ang sulat ko. Wala lang pake. Kasi hindi naman ito isang sulating pormal kung saan pati ang istilo ay pinupuna ng mga letseng Filipino teacher. Shet, naalala ko na naman ang mga sulating pormal-pormalan na yan nung elementarya at high school. Mahilig ako magsulat dati sa tagalerg. Pero nabago yun nung 4th year high school ako. Linsyak kasi yung teacher ko dati sa Filipino. Linggo ng wika noon at may pakontest: essay writing sa wikang Filipino. Aba aba, alam ko na medyo may talento ako noon sa pagsulat kumpara sa iba kong kaklase. Ang mga estudyante lang sa honor section ang kasali sa palahok, kaya mas ok dahil konti lang ang kakumpitensya. Binasa isa-isa ng teacher namin sa Filipino ang mga essay namin, pero pagdating sa akin, umpisa palang, tinigil na nya ang pagbasa. Bakeet??? Kasi daw, masyado raw generic ang panimula ko sa essay ko. Sinumulan ko ang aking panulat gamit ang mga kataga ni Rizal tungkol sa malansang isda. Nyek na nyek talaga ako. Hindi man lang nya tinapos basahin ang kasunod. Hindi manlang nya napagtsagaang namnamin ang nilalaman ng sinulat ko. Nakakabadtrip talaga! Bilib-na-bilib pa naman ako noon sa gawa ko. Para akong sinampal sa muka gamit ng sarili kong tsinelas. Mga ganyang pagkakataon ang nagpapababa ng self-esteem ko. Pero ok rin naman dahil gawa ng kaibigan ko ang napili ni Mrs. Medina (hahaha, ayan nasabi ko tuloy pangalan nya! lol). Natuwa ako para sa kaibigan ko, kahit na hindi ako gaano bumilib sa sulat nya ng mabasa ko ito.

Pero noong nag college ako, biglang lumabas ang isang manunulat na hanggang sa ngayon eh nagtatago parin sa pangalang Bob Ong. Cool na cool ang dating sa akin ng istilo ng panunulat nya. Habang nagbabasa ng libro sa thermodynamics at heat transfer ang mga kaklase ko sa mapua, nandon naman ako sa isang sulok at nagbabasa ng ABNKKBSNPLAKo. Noong panahong ding iyon ko nadiskubri si Nanskii boi ng GBlogs! Sinusubaybayan ko pagbato nya ng mga post sa Gblogs nya. Tungkol lang sa mga pangyayari sa buhay-buhay nya ang sinusulat nya, pero sadya naman talagang nakakaaliw ang paraan nya ng pagkwento. Matapos ang ilang buwan na pagsubaybay ko sa dot com ni Nanskii Boi, napagpasyahan ko na gumawa ng sarili kong lungga sa Yahoo 360 Blogs. Oo, pero dahil takot ako na masyadong maimpluwensyahan nila Bob Ong at Nanskii, naisip ko na magsulat sa wikang inglesh. Ayun na ang simula ng paglikha ko ng sarili kong mundo sa blogosperyo. Online diary - kung saan ko ibinabato at isinusuka ang lahat ng hindi ko masabi sa ibang tao.
Pero gaya ng nabanggit ko kanina, mas "liberating" ang magsulat sa tagalerg. Hindi tulad kung sa wikang inglesh ka magsusulat. Marami dyan, nagbabasa lang para punahin kung may mali sa grammar ang sumulat. Ahem. Ewan ko kung bakit ko nasabi yan. Marahil ganito rin kasi ako sa iba?...pinupuna ko rin at kinukutya ang mga mali-maling grammar kung minsan ng ilang bloggers na nagpupumilit magsulat sa wikang inglesh. May punto rin ang kasabihang galit ang magnanakaw sa kapwa magnanakaw. Hindi naman talaga ako magaling magsulat. Sa totoo lang, kung minsan, feeling ko nga trying hard ako sa paggamit ng wikang inglesh sa pagsusulat. Wala naman kasi ako talagang pormal na pag-aaral sa pagsulat sa inglesh. Swerte ko na lang talaga at nagbigay talaga ako ng sapat na atensiyon sa mga inglesh teachers ko sa school. Kaya eto, kahit papaano eh napapakinabangan ko rin naman sa trabaho ang aking kaunting kaalaman. Pero swear, asiwa parin talaga ako sa ideya ng pagpupumilit magtunog amerikano. Hay naku. Pano kaya kung ang Pilipinas ang naging makapangyarihang bansa sa mundo at hindi ang Estados Unidos? Paano kung ang Amerika ang third world country? Paano kaya kung ang Pilipinas ang nag a-outsource ng trabaho sa Amerika? Ano kaya kung ang mga bwakinang Kano ang nagpupumilit magsalita ng tagalerg sa Filipino accent? Hmmm....
Imagine:

Agent: Mayruhmeeeng seyluhmet suh pughteweg, enow powng meypeg leeeleengkud kow suh inyow?
Customer: Putang-ina mo! Amerikano ka no? Tunog na tunog, ang pangit ng accent mo! I-transfer mo nga ako sa Pinoy, ayoko kumausap ng bobong kano na nagpupumilit magtagalog!
Agent: Puhseynsyuh nuh pow, ngoooneet hindeee kow pow keyow mayleeeleeeput suh on-shore center.
Customer: Pasensya, pasenya, puro nalang pasensya sinasabi nyo! Ang tatanga nyo naman! Mga putang-ina nyong lahat!
Agent: Sowreee pow teleguh mem. (magmu-mute at mag mumura din: fuck you bitch!)
Customer: Sawang sawa na ko sa kakasorry nyo, sawang-sawa na ako makipag-usap sa mga putang-ina nyong mga kano kayo! (sabay bagsak ng telepeno)
Agent: Damn, I don't want this job anymore... (habang nangingilid ang luha sa mata)

Oh di ba? Astig?! XD parang jejemons lang sila pag nagkataon, teeee heeee heeee! XD

Hindi ako kagalingan magsalita sa wikang inglesh, kaya kung minsan, sa panahong tamad-na-tamad na ako, hindi ko sinasadyang magtunog pinoy sa pagsasalita ko. Pinoy lang, pumapalya rin ang pekeng accent at grammar kung minsan. Nakakatanggap ako ng ilang magagandang papuri mula sa mga kaibigan ko sa trabaho, na kesyo lahat daw eh nakikinig kapag ako na ang nagsasalita. May kagalingan daw ako sa pakikipag-usap sa mga bwuakinang kano, hahaha. Pero ewan. Hirap ako kung minsan na tumanggap ng papuri. Hirap rin ako kung minsan na magbigay ng papuri. Sa mapagkumbabang lipunan na kinalakihan natin, hindi kailan man naging tama ang pagbubuhat ng sariling bangko. Kaya kadalasan, kahit alam natin sa sarili natin na may mas ibubuga tayo sa iba, nangingibabaw parin ang pagpapakumbaba. Humility is beauty, sabi nga ng mga kaibigan ko na sina Chris at Serge, pero ang humility na ito, kadalasan, sa ating mga pinoy, ay nagiging katumbas ng kawalan ng tiwala sa sarili. Magkaibang bagay ang pagpapakumbaba at kawalan ng tiwala sa sarili. At ang kawalan ng tiwala sa sarili ay isang bagay na gusto kong basagin.

Hay.... hindi ko na alam kung sa paanong paraan ko tatapusin itong tagalerg entry ko, haha. Ikalimang entry ko pa lang ito sa taong ito. Pagsinipag-sipag ako sa mga susunod na araw, baka masundan ito agad. O sige, tama na muna.
Back to EOP next time. XD