Public Elementary School [mahaba ang original title kanina pero pinaikli ko nalang kasi baka ma-bore ka magbasa kapag title palang ay sobrang haba na, tapos yung aktuwal post eh sobrang haba din.]

Isang pangkaraniwang araw/gabi lamang ngayon. Walang bago. Puro luma't inaamag lamang na karanasan at ideya ang maaaring kong ibahagi dito. Haiks. Eh paano ba naman magkakaroon ng bago, ikaw ba naman itong tumambay sa bahay ng ilang buwan at walang ibang gawin kundi magkamot ng ano, wala talagang interesanteng bagay ang maaari mong maikwento.

Nakita ko sa blog ni gillboard noong isang araw ang kwento ng kanyang buhay elementarya, at naisipan ko itong gayahin. Ingetero lang ako, ipagpaumanhin.

Tutal naman ay bored ako, idadamay ko narin kayo.  Kung ayaw mong magsisi dahil sa haba nito, wag mo nalang basahin.  Payo lang.

Grade 1:

Mahirap lang kami, kaya sa public elementary school ako pumasok. At dahil natural na sa pamilya namin ang pagiging late kahit saan mang lakad - late rin ako na-enroll ng nanay ko. First-come-first-served ang siste sa public school. Dahil late ako na-enroll, section 20 ako napunta. Kada section noon ay may 50 na estudyante. Samakatuwid, nasa pagitan ako ng ika-950 at ika-1000 na enrollee. Ang room namin ay nasa pinakadulong building at pinakamabahong parte din ng eskwelahan. Bakit pinakamabaho? Kasi ang pinakaluma at pinakamabahong cr ng eskwela ay nasa likod lang ng room namin, at ang opisyal na basurahan ng eskwela ay 5 kandirit lang mula sa room. Mas Malas ang section 21, dahil isang hakbang palabas sa pinto, sabay pihit sa kaliwa, ay basurahan na.

Hindi naman ako nagtagal sa section 20, dahil pagkatapos ng dalawang buwan ay inilipat ako ni titser sa section 3. Hindi ko alam kung ano talaga ang nangyari. Siguro ay narealized ng teacher ko na hindi ako nababagay sa mabahong lugar na yon (arte lang, haha). Pagkatapos nga ng dalawang buwan ay nanibago akong muli dahil iba na naman ang mga muka ng classmates ko. Akala ko noon makakahinga na ako ng maluwag kahit papano, pero hindi pala doon nagtatapos ang usapang baho. Nagkaroon ako ng seatmate na may luga, at hindi kaaya-aya ang amoy nito. Katabi ko sya sa upuan. Hindi ko naman talaga sya katabi noong unang lipat ko dahil nakaupo siya sa unang row at nasa bandang gitnang row ako. Mangyaring hindi na nakatiis ang titser namin sa kanya, kaya ilang araw mula noong lumipat ako, pinalipat din nya si classmate-na-may-luga ng upuan - sa tabi ko. Lahat ata sila ay pinagdaanan ang karanasang iyon, at nagkataon lang na ako ang huling mag-aaral sa klase, kaya ako narin ang nagdusa buong taon. Hindi naman ako lugi. Quits lang kami nung katabi nya sa kabilang silya.

Grade 2:

Nalipat ako sa section 2. Dito ako unang nagkaroon ng mga kaibigan. Naging matalik na kaibigan ko si.... errr....shit, sorry, nakalimutan ko ang pangalan nya. Basta tanda ko yung water jug nya na tadtad ng stickers ng teenage mutant ninja turtles na lagi ko ring iniinuman. Lumipat kasi sya sa isang private school pagkatapos ng taon kaya hindi ko na sya matandaan. Bata palang ay pawisin na ako. Lalo na ang kamay ko, sa sobrang pasmado ay pwede na itong lagyan ng gripo kapag pinagpapawisan, kaya naman lagi akong may baon na panyo - at walang palya yan. Trademark ko nung estudyante ako ay laging may pinapatungang panyo ang kamay ko pag nagsusulat. Isang araw, may pagsusulit kami. Ang masamang balita - naiwan ko ang panyo ko, pumalya ako. Kung nag-aral ka rin sa public school, malamang ay alam mo na laging sira ang bintilador sa mga classrooms. Habang nag-e-exam kami, habang tahimik ang buong klase, ako ay pawis na pawis at init na init, at ang test paper ko - basang-basa. Sa sobrang basa ay hindi na ako makapagsulat ng maayos. Nabubutas ang papel kapag sinusulatan ko na ng lapis. Natakot ako na hindi ko matatapos ang exam, at napaiyak ako dahil dito. Nakakahiya mang aminin, umiyak ako sa klase. Pinuntahan naman ako ni titser at tinanong kung bakit ako umiiyak. Awang-awa sa akin si Mrs. Flores, kaya pinaypayan nya ako habang nakaupo, at nagtanong rin sya sa klase kung sino ang may extrang panyo, at di naman ako nabigo dahil may nagkusang magpahiram ng bimpo. Natapos ko rin ang exam at umuwi ng maligaya.

Kinabukasan, maaga ako dumating ng school dahil maaga kami sinundo ng tricycle na service ko. Panghapon ang mga grade 2, at habang naghihintay kami ng mga kapwa-ko-maaga-dumating-na-classmates na lumabas ang mga morning shift na grade 1, nagdesisyon kami na maglaro muna ng habulan. "Mataya-taya" kami sa quadrangle sa ilalim ng araw sa katanghaliang tapat. Hindi namin namalayan na lumabas na pala ang mga grade 1 students at napansin nalang namin na tinatawag na kami ni Mrs. Flores. Patay, galit si ma'am! Lahat kami na nag mataya-taya ay napalo (namamalo pa ang mga titser noong dekada 90), pero dahil espesyal akong estudyante, may bonus ako kay ma'am. Sobrang sakit sa pingot na halos pumilas sa tenga ko. Sabi ni Mrs. Flores, "At ikaw, tatakbo-takbo ka dyan, tapos pag pinawisan ka na naman iiyak-iyak ka!!!" -sabay pingot. Hindi na ulit ako naglaro ng mataya-taya kapag malapit na magsimula ang klase simula noon.

Grade 3:

Section 2. Si Mrs Amante ang adviser ko. Meron syang kakaibang katangian, at dahil dito ay sobrang sakit nyang mamingot at manghila ng patilya. Ano ang kakaiba nyang katangian? Dalawa ang hinlalaki nya sa kanang kamay!  Titser rin namin sya sa math. Hindi ako mahilig mag-aral noong bata ako. Hindi naman kasi ako pinipilit na mag-aral sa bahay ng magulang ko gaya ng ibang bata na kilala ko. Understanding si erpat at ermat sa karapatan kong makapaglaro at makapaglibang bilang bata kaya naman lagi akong laman ng kalsada. Pero dahil dalawa ang hinlalaki ni mam sa kanang kamay at ayaw kong masabunutan sa patilya ng ubod-ng-sakit, napilitan ako na sauluhin ang multiplication at division table.  Kabisado ko yan, kahit pagbalig-baligtarin mo pa dati - salamat sa takot ko sa titser ko. Feeling ko tuloy noon ay matalino ako sa math kahit kabisote lang naman talaga ako.

Grade 3 din noong una (at huli) akong tumae sa cr sa eskwela. Hoy hoy hoy, alam ko iniisip mo. Iniisip mo na sa classroom talaga ako tumae at nagkukunwari lang na sa cr ako tumae, ano? Loko, hindi no. Sa cr ako tumae, pero may nakakita sa akin na tumatae ako sa cr, si Palito (di tunay na pangalan ng hayop). Bihirang-bihira lang ako pumasok sa cr dahil nakakawala sa tamang pag-iisip ang amoy ng cr sa public elementary school.  Isa iyong buhay na patunay ng impyerno sa lupa.  Balik sa cr: noon ngang oras na yon, meron palang sumunod na nag may-i-go-out sa klase, at nakita nya nga ako na lumabas mula sa cubicle. Siya ang mortal enemy ko noon at dalawang beses kami nagsuntukan (may kwento tungkol dito mamaya). Tumae si Palito sa klase noong grade 2 kami, at akala nya ay pagkakataon na nya iyon para makabawi sa lahat ng kanyang pagdurusa noong grade 2. Pagdating ng break, tuwang-tuwa niyang pinagkalat sa buong klase na nakita daw nya akong tumatae sa cr. Ang walangyang hitad, gusto pang dungisan ang karangalan ko sa school. Syempre hindi ako nagpatalo.  Kaya para ibangon ang sandaling-nadungisan ko na dangal, inungkat ko ulit ang pangyayari noong grade 2, na buti pa ako at sa cr tumatae, hindi kagaya nya na sa klase nagkalat ng lagim. Ang ending - sya parin ang talo. Bihira ako mang-asar noong bata, pero grabe ako mang-asar pag nasa mood.

Grade 4:

Section 2 parin. Mabait ang titser namin, si Mrs. Gudoy, siguro ay dahil sa ang anak nya na si Cherry ay kaklase din namin. Nabanggit ko kanina na nakipagsuntukan ako ng dalawang beses kay Palito.  Dito 'yon nangyari.  Dati ng mabigat ang loob ko kay Palito dahil alam kong ninakaw nya ang paborito kong lapis noong grade 3. Sinasabi nya na kanya ang lapis, pero alam kong akln yon dahil may palatandaan ako. Uso ang gagamba noon (spider derby) at bida ang mga batang may malaking panlabang gagamba. Isang araw, habang ipinapakita ko ang aking gagamba sa mga kaklase, sinadya ni Palito na pitikin ito. Nalaglag ito sa sahig at nagkagulo ang iba hanggang sa natapakan ang gagamba ko. Right there and then (umiinglish bigla) ay tinulak ko sya, sabay kantyaw ng "hawakan mo nga sa tenga" ng iba kong kaklase, at nauwi na nga ito sa suntukan. Hindi ko alam kung papaano kami naawat.

Hindi doon natapos ang suntukan namin. Dahil hindi ako makaget-over sa ginawa nya sa gagamba ko, kinabukasan ay gumanti ako. Habang break, inubos ko ang laman ng malaking lalagyan ng paste ko at nilagay ko sa isang papel, sabay punta kay Palito na noon ay nakaupo lang. Binatukan ko si Palito habang nasa kamay ko ang papel na punong-puno ng paste. Hindi sya nakapag react agad, nagulat sya. Mabait akong bata, pero lintik lang talaga ang walang ganti. Mangiyak-ngiyak nyang tinanggal ang papel sa ulo nya at maghapon syang nagtatanggal ng paste sa buhok. Hindi sya nagsumbong sa titser, pero pagkatapos ng klase ay nag-aya syang magsuntukan kami sa bukid sa likod ng eskwela. Lalaki sa lalaki. Kaming dalawa lang ang usapan. Pagdating sa bukid, takte, ang daming estudyante na hindi namin kilala. May iba rin palang nagsusuntukan, haha. At iyon nga, habang may nagsusuntukang iba ay nagsuntukan narin kami habang may bitbit na bag. Syempre, ako ang nanalo. Kwawa siya sa akin. Simula noong huling sapakan namin ni Joel Q (ay si Palito pala), hindi na nya ako ginulo. Hindi ko narin sya tinigilan, este, ginulo.

May magaganda rin namang bagay na nagyari noong grade 4. Dito ako natutong magdrawing at gumawa ng komiks sa likuran ng mga notebooks, dahil narin sa impluwensya ng mga kaklase at kaibigan ko na sina Danmilson at Ogie.  Paborito kong idrawing sila combatron at son gokou.  Dito rin ako nagkaroon ng seryosong crush - Si Aiza. Hindi na ako mahihiya kahit mabasa niya to, bata pa kaya kami noon! 

Pahabol.  Dito ko rin unang nadiskubre ang baho ng mga public school pagdating sa mga achievement tests laban sa iba pang public elementary schools.  Hindi ko alam kung anong tawag noon sa exam na 'yon, pero ilang beses ako nag-take ng exam gamit ang pangalan ng ibat-ibang estudyante.  Hmmm.... Pampataas ng over-all performance ng eskwelahan.

Grade 5:

Nalipat ako sa section 1. Medyo na culture shock ako noong una dahil hindi ako sanay na panay matatalino ang kaklase ko. Nakasanayan ko noon na naglalaro lang ang buong klase kapag breaktime., pero doon ko lang nalaman na iba pala ang kultura sa honor section. Mas mukang seryoso ang mga estudyante. Wala na noon si Aiza dahil lumipat na sya sa private school, kaya nakahanap ako ng bagong crush(es) - Si Christia L at si Sheila Marie C. Ang room namin ay doon sa pinakamagandang room sa main building, malapit sa principal's office kaya bawal mag-ingay ng malakas. Swerte kami sa room, pero may kaakibat din itong kamalasan. Kapag may meeting ang mga school officials/teachers/visitors, room namin ang laging ginagamit. Ang bagsak namin - doon sa malawak na waiting shed sa quadrangle. Kamusta naman, doon kami nakaupo sa maalikabok na semento/hagdan ng quadrangle.  Pero tuloy parin ang klase. Actually, masarap naman kahit papano ang pakiramdam ng magklase sa labas ng room. Mas malaya ang pakiramdam dahil mas marami kaming nakikita sa labas at hindi lang panay muka ng titser at blackboard. Minsan naman, pagsuswertihin, doon kami ini-evacuate sa library. First time ko makapasok sa library noon. Di ko talaga maintindihan, pero doon lang sa public school namin ata ang library na bawal ang estudyante sa loob. Nakakapasok lang ako ng library noon kapag doon kami nagkaklase.

Nagkasakit ang driver ng tricycle service ko kaya nawalan ako ng service noong grade 5. Hindi na ako kinuha ni tatay ng bagong service dahil malaki na raw ako.  Meron akong kaklase na sa tapat lang ng compound namin nakatira, at hatid-sundo siya lagi ng lolo nya na may traysikel,  kaya kinaibigan ko sya. Si Ramon. User friendly lang ako. Kaya ayun, libre sakay narin ako pauwi. At ang natitipid ko noon sa traysikel na pamasahe, pinang-vi-video ko sa may Bergado kapag weekends, sa kanto ng Montillano, Alabang. Favorite ko noong video ay Street Fighter at Samurai Showdown.  Baligtad pa noon sa video ang pangalan ni Vega at Balrog ng Street Fighter. 

Noong grade 5 ako nagsimulang matutong mag gitara, kasabay ng kaibigan ko at schoolmate na si Noel. At dahil naawa si tatay sa akin dahil nakikigitara lang ako, binilhan nya ako ng sarili kong gitara. Walang marunong tumugtog noon sa klase namin ng gitara, kaya feeling ko ay ang galing-galing ko. Gusto ko rin noon na matuto mag piano, pero dahil nga mahirap lang kami, hindi nasunod ang wish ko kay santa claus na magkaroon nito..

Grade 6:

Section 1. Tumindi lalo ang kompetisyon sa honor section dahil graduating na. Pero wala parin akong pakialam. Chill lang. Mas madalas ang petiks mode namin noong grade 6 dahil graduating na. Dahil honor section, madalas kaming maimbitahan ng ibat-ibat private high-school. Special ang treatment. Minsan kami ang pumupunta sa school nila, minsan naman ay sila ang dumadayo sa amin. Lahat ng ate ko ay sa isang Catholic School nag-aral at alam kong doon na rin ako mag-aaral ng highschool. Pero isang araw, may dumating sa room namin na representative ng isang private school for boys - Southrigde School of Alabang. Tradisyon pala nila ang magbigay ng scholarship sa mga male students ng honor section sa mga public schools. Ang requirements - no grades below 85%, ipasa ang exam nila, at dapat ay medyo may kahirapan sa buhay ang mga magulang/pamilya. In short, yung medyo walang kapasidan na makapag-aral sa private school. Nagpunta kami sa school para magexam - at ampota, sosyal ang students! Sanay kami na nakakakita ng mga batang nagtatakbuhan sa labas ng classrooms, pero hindi kami sanay na mga inglisero ang estudyanteng nagtatakbuhan at labang tide ang mga uniform. Mga taga Ayala Alabang at Alabang Hills kasi karamihan ang estudyante.  Mga may kaya at angat sa buhay, at mga spokening-dollars.  Pumasa ako sa exam, pero dahil maganda ang trabaho noon ni tatay, hindi rin ako nabigyan ng scholarship. 5 lang ang nakapasok sa scholarship. Ang ending, sa catholic school din ako napunta.

Pinakamemorable ay ang graduation. Nagstart ang graduation ceremony mga bandang alas-kwatro Maraming pasakalye, bago ang awarding of honours at ang pagtanggap ng diploma. Ang section namin ang unang umakyat ng stage. Cool lang kami lahat - ninanamnam ang bawat sandali sa stage. Pero, potah - pasado alas-nuebe na nang matapos tawagin ang lahat ng estudyante. Imagine...21 sections ang grumadweyt...mahigit isang libong estudyante ang tinawag, kumaway, nagmoment, umiyak, at nagpapicture sa stage - isa-isa!!! Nyeta! Pancit lang ang hinanda ni nanay noong grumadweyt ako.  Pero dahil naibenta ni daddy ang kanyang sasakyan noong panahon na yon, binilhan nya rin ako ng bisekleta. Grad gift. Para daw sa pagiging mabuti kong mag-aaral. Ayaw nya akong bilhan ng bike noong una, pero nagdrama ako. Bata pa ako noon, at feeling ko madami kaming pera dahil nabenta ang kotse. Gumana naman ang pagdadrama ko at nakuha ang inaasam na bmx. XD  Gusto kong palagyan noon ng rotor ang bike ko pero hindi na ito nasunod, mahal kasi ang mag-upgrade.

Malamang-lamang ay nag skip-read ka kung andito ka na sa huling talata. Alam kong walang moral ang kwento, pero wala akong pakialam sayo. Hahaha. O sige na, sa susunod susubukan ko naman ang highschool - mas maikli yun dahil hindi ko natapos ang highschool ko. Hahaha.. joke lang.

Byerts!

P.S.  puta - ito na yata ang pinakamahabang walang-kwentang-lathala na naitipa ko dito. Ipagpaumanhin nyo.  salamat din kung binasa mo ng buo, haha. XD

Sy - wannabe

I've been trying to set myself in the mood for a fresh start. Getting a new job and updating and refreshing this blog, as well as the other, is part of the fresh start I am aiming. Keeping two blogs at a time is not a small thing. Why I am keeping two blogs is, errr, none of your effing business - haha, just kidding. While I am keeping two blogs, I still don't think it's being redundant (for one, my other blog is still almost empty). Things that I normally do, and normally happen in my everyday life, will be posted here. The other side of me, pfft - and all those emoish-litany-blahs, will be thrown in my other blog. Emoish shits and rants and the sort of - you know. Honestly, I really don't want to do that anymore, but if it can't be helped, then it can't be helped. If I'd have some shits to rant about in the future, then that's where it would go. That's proper segregation of garbage.

Goals have been set and I just need to work on them, even little by little. Getting a new job tops my goals, resigning afterwards follows (haha, kidding). I'll try to stay longer in my next job. Sometimes I wish I were born rich so I could do and buy everything I want for myself and my family, or, at least everything we need. My mom got mad at me one time when I jokingly asked her to return me to my real parents (I was referring to Henry Sy's son - if ever he has one, i don't know). But of course it was all just a joke. I'm my parent's biological son and I'm not complaining (never will).  It's just that, I think I'd be happier (correct term is more satisfied) if we were rich. Who wouldn't be? Ang swerte ng mga apo ni Henry Sy di ba, kahit tig-i-tig-isa silang mall kayang kaya, sobra pa, pfft.

To those who are expecting to get their 13th month pay this month, or in Dec - screw you, jerks!!! Hahahaha.... I'm not bitter or anything, I swear. XD

Dati ginagamit ko lang pamaypay ang pera...! XD

I know I am going to get a new job before the month (or year...waaah) ends... God is preparing the perfect job for me and I can feel it materializing. Ang kumontra mamamatay!  Hehe... Joke lang, konsensya mo na lang bahala pag kumontra ka (kokonsensyahin ka ng konsensya mo hanggang mamatay ka). XD

This doesn't make sense anymore. Byerts now! XD

Ganito minsan magbatian ang mga kaibigan ko...



Imahe mula sa chat ng kaibigan kong si rhea may at rommel


Ang sweet nila ano, nagkalat ang tae sa chat.  Next week luga naman ang tawagan nila. XD

Mon Objet D'Art III

Had too much of slothful moments the past few days (weeks/months, actually), so I decided to edit my previous works and reapply oil paints.  They look better now (I think).



"Under the Bloody Sky" Oil on 18x24 inch pre-stretched white canvas





a closer look of the Old barn



"Efetsem" Oil on 30x20 inch pre-stretched white canvas

Both are, ahemmmm, for sale [if anyone is interested (baka sakali lang) - haha, parang may bibili].

Below are my most recent works in acrylic.  Pls don't mind the colours and the styles I used.  I'm not a schooled artist, you know.  I'm a learning painter and I'm pretty much trying to discover my own style.

"Into the Misty Woods" Acrylic on 15x21 plywood



"Untitled" Acrylic on 15x21 plywood



Both were painted on wood (plywood, and they're back to back - tipid mode, haha) as I still don't have canvas.  Well, it doesn't really matter whether I paint on a real canvas or not, i'm just practicing anyway.  I enjoyed creating those heavy strokes in the painting showed in the last pic.  It's inspired by a painting I saw in the ManilArt exhibit.  I'm not sure what this style/genre is called, but it looks more like of the expressionism (check out Stary Night by Van Gogh).

This is all for now.  Ulitin ko lang, for sale yung dalawang oil painting, teee heee!  XD  Byerts!

Blogger Ako

Isang online-diary ang gusto kong mangyari noong nagsimula akong magbato ng titik sa blogosperyo. Plano ko kasi noon na, balang araw pag ako'y pumanaw, merong mababasa tungkol sa akin ang mangilan-ngilang tao na nagmamahal sa akin... kung paano ako namuhay at kung paaano ako tumugon sa mga bagay-bagay sa aking paligid. Hindi ko ninais na magsulat para ibida ang sarili sa mga taong hindi ko naman kilala, o para sa kung ano pa mang lohikal o hindi na rason ng ibang blogeryo. Ayaw ko nga noon na nababasa ng ibang tao ang aking blog. Para lang tanga, hindi ba? Pwede kang tumawa. Bakit nga naman ako gagawa ng blog sa internet, na abot-kamay ng sino mang may sapat na kakayahan at kaalaman sa computer, kung ayaw ko naman itong mabasa ng iba? Madamot ako noon, ayaw ko na malaman ng ibang tao ang mga nararamdaman ko, ang iniisip ko, at mga binabalak ko. Sa isip ko'y para lamang ito sa mga taong malapit sa akin. Sabi ko nga, gusto kong mabasa nila ito pag ako'y wala na. Wala naman kasi akong maipapamanang materyal na bagay sa aking mga mahal sa buhay, kundi tanging mga alaala ng mga pangyayari sa mga panahon'ng namuhay ako sa mundo. Tumagal ako ng limang taon sa pagbablog na walang masugid na tagasubaybay, at iilan lamang ang may alam - karamihan pa sa kanila ay napadpad lamang ng hindi sadya.

Hindi ako magaling magsulat sa tagalog, ganun din sa salitang ginagamit ko noon sa aking pinagtatrabahuhan. Pero sa kabila ng aking kakulangan sa kaalaman, at kung minsan ay lantarang paglabag sa batas ng balarila, sadya man o hindi, ng ating sariling wika at sa wikang frances (joke lang, ingles), minsan parin akong nangarap na balang araw ay makakapagsualt ako ng libro, na, katulad ng orihinal kong balak sa pagkakaroon ng online-diary, ay magiging alaala na maiiwan ko sa mundo. Pangarap lang naman iyon, at nananatili paring ganoon. Medyo bata pa kasi ako noong mga panahon iyon, lahat ng bagay ay gusto kong gawin, at ang pagsusulat ay kabilang sa medyo-may-kahabaan kong listahan. Sa sobrang dami ng nais kong gawin ay, sa totoo lamang, wala akong nagawa ng buo. Lahat ay hilaw at pangkaraniwan lang. Hindi na ako ngayon nanganggarap na makapag-sulat pa ng libro. Hindi naman sa sumuko na ako. Mangyayari na lang ang dapat mangyari. Nais ko lamang unahin, sa ngayon, ang ilang bagay na mas karapat-dapat unahin...mga bagay na naipagpaliban ko at hindi ko naituloy sa maraming dahilan. Isa pa, napag-isip-isip ko kasi na ang seryosong pagsusulat, sa ingles man o tagalog, ay labas talaga sa intelektuwal kong kapasidad. Bukod pa riyan, sadya akong tamad at mabilis mawalan ng gana matapos simulan ang isang bagay; isang hindi magandang katangian na dapat ko munang ayusin sa aking sarili. Nasabi ko na noon minsan na ako'y isang masamang magulang ng aking blog. Kung ang aking blog ay isang sanggol, malamang ay matagal na itong nailibing at naging pataba sa damo. Hindi kasi ako consistent sa pagbisita at pagbato ng akda sa aking blog. At gaya ng nakaugaliaan ko sa aking trabaho, palipat-lipat din ako ng blogsite. Ang una kong dalawang sites ay wala na - nagsara kasi ang yahoo 360 blogs ng hindi ko namamalayan. Hindi na tuloy ako nagkaroon ng pagkakataon na maisalba ang mga naitago ko sa aking orihinal na blogsite. May ilang pagkakataon na isang beses sa isang buwan lamang ako napapadpad sa aking sariling lungga. Bagamat ganito ako bilang blogeryo, nanatili parin akong aktibo sa pagbabasa ng mga dati ko nang sinusundang mga blogs, at ang karamihan sa kanila ay hindi alam na ako'y tagasubaybay. Ang internet ay isang malawak na mundo ng kaalaman. Maganda rin na source ng karunungan ang nilalaman ng isip ng ibang tao. Marami akong natututunan mula sa pagbabasa ng opinyon at karanasan ng mga kapwa ko bloggers, at totoo naman na napakaraming matatalinong bloggers sa mundo at marami dito ay mga pinoy. Bihira ako noon magbigay ng komento sa mga nababasa ko. Ang sa akin kasi dati - ang nasabi nila ay nasabi na. Period. Sumang-ayon man ako o hindi, hindi na iyon mahalaga. Hindi na ganito ang pananaw ko ngayon.

Bibihira nalang ngayon ang mga malulupit-ngunit-simple-at-hindi-sikat na bloggers.  Parami na rin ng paparami ang mga humor-blogs sa mundo. Dati, si Unkyel Batjay ng kwentongtambay.com at si Nanskii ng nanskii boi's wurld lang ang mga sinusundan kong humor blogs. Sa libro naman ay si Bob Ong (hindi ko nagustuhan ang mga huling libro nya, ewan ko lang ang bagong lalabas na ikawalo). Hindi pa sila gaanong sikat noon. Sa ngayon, marami parin ang magagaling, pero bihira nalang sa kanila ang hindi sikat. Pero ano pang magagawa ko, sikat na sila. Ang importante ay gusto ko ang nababasa ko, marami man akong kasabay na bumabasa o ako lang.  Pero patuloy parin ako sa paghalughog ng mga di sikat na bloggers.  Masarap kasi basahin ang mga sulat ng mga bloggers na wala gaanong tagasubaybay - nagiging mas tapat kasi sila sa mga nais nilang sabihin, walang bahid ng pagpapasikat, at hindi sumusunod sa kung ano sa tingin nila ang bebenta sa mata at panlasa ng mga mambabasa at ng mga posibleng mapapadpad sa kuta nila. Isang halimbawa ng seryosong blogger na tinutukoy ko ay si Tobey - ang may-ari ng wordgasm.com. Kilala ko kasi siya ng personal, kaya nasasabi kong ang blog nya ay isang buhay na patunay na maaaring maging extension ng buhay ng isang blogger ang kanyang blog.  Matalino sya sa personal, ganun din ang ganyang blog. Siya ang blog nya at ang blog nya ay sya. Siya 'yon. Puro...at walang halong pagpapanggap at pagpapasikat.

Marunong na akong mag-iwan ng komento ngayon. Dati kasi ay bihirang-bihira ako mag-iwan ng komento. May sarili akong mundo noon, at madamot ako sa kaalaman at impormasyon at pagbibigay ng papuri. Kamakailan lang, natutunan ko na isa pala itong magandang paraan ng pagpapakita ng "appreciation" sa isang kapwa-blogger. Parang isang pag-uudyok na "wag kang titigil sa pagba-blog" Ang totoo, galit ako noon sa mga tinatawag ko na mediocre-bloggers. Sabi nga nila, ang mga magnanakaw, galit sa kapwa magnanakaw. Sino nga ba ako para husgahan na mediocre ang kakayanan ng isang blogger o ang laman ng isang blogsite? Kagaya ko, maaaring ang nais lang nila ay ang makapaghayag ng mga bagay-bagay na hindi nila masabi sa mga tao ng personal, may kwenta man ito sa aking paningin o wala. Ganun naman ang lahat ng bagay, lahat ay may dalawang mukha. Maaring ang maganda at may saysay at nakakaaliw para sa akin ay isa lamang kabobohan para sa iba, at kabaligtaran. Isang bagay na natutunan ko sa pagbabasa ng mga blog ng iba - kung hindi mo gusto ang nabasa mo, kalimutan ito at humakbang pasulong. Parang pagbabasa lang ng libro, pag tapos na ang pahina, ipihit ito sa susunod, o di kaya ay isara na lang. Hindi naman kailangang pilasin ang libro o di kaya ay sunugin kapag hindi sumakto sa ating panlasa ang laman nito. Ang maaaring basura ni Pedro ay yaman ni Juan. Ano man ang nilalaman ng isang blog, malalim man ito at malaman, o mababaw lamang at matabang sa panlasa, lahat ng iyan ay pinag-isipan ng may akda.

AFTERWORD:

Blogger ako, nagpapahayag ako ng saloobin, at nirerespeto ko rin ang lahat ng aking kapwa blogger at mga sulatin nila, sang-ayon man ako o hindi, namangha man ako o nahikab, o tinapos ko man basahin o hindi. Hindi parin naman ako bigo sa orihinal kong dahilan kung bakit ako nagbablog. Dalawang buwan mula ngayon ay 2yrs na ang aking blogspot. Ipagpapatuloy ko parin ang aking online diary.

Bakit tagalog ngayon? Gusto ko lang ulit masubukan kung paano magsulat sa tagalog na may tamang pag-iingat. Sa katunayan, purong tagalog ang aking pinakaunang blog. Pero, bakit ko nga ba ito naungkat? Ewan. Hindi naman talaga importante kung tagalog o ingles ang panulat ko.

Umaga na, tama na. Byerts!

 

Picnic sa damuhan habang pumapatak ang ulan.

Pagod, puyat, ulan, at maraming stressful moments - yan ang mga naganap sa nakalipas na dalawang gabi at isang araw sa Eternal Gardens, Balintawak.  Nakakabadtrip lang ang magtayo ng tent mag-isa habang umaambon.  Masarap sana ang panahon - bed-weather eh.  Pero masarap lang yan pag nasa bed ka at hindi sa sementeryo.  Masaya naman kahit papaano at nakita ko rin ang mga kamag-anak ko sa side ni daddy, at si daddy - gwapo parin, parang hindi tumatanda, forever 56.  Binilang ko ang mga buhay na kaluluwa ng mga kamag-anak ko, 20 kami lahat kanina na bumisita sa mga namayapa naming mahal sa buhay at nagpicnic ng masaya at naghabulan habang kumakandirit sa basang damuhan.  Merong mga hindi nakapunta, at as usual madami ang late dumating.  Sarap sana magpapicture dahil minsan lang kami magkita-kita, kaso namatay agad ang battery bago pa man magamit ang digicam - masaklap pa, naiwan ko ang spare batt at charger. Yung camera naman ng dati-eh-reliable-pero-hindi-na-ngayon na 3yo nokia N73 ko ay nagloloko.  Wala tuloy akong nakuhang picture kahit isa.  At ayon sa mga kamag-anak ko, chumubby (chubby) daw ako lalo.  Pfft.  Sila na ang sexy at slim.

Maikli lamang ito, dahil pagod na. Magbabalik na lang sa ibang araw.

Byerts! XD

An Afterlife Experience; Ghost for a Thousand Years [a short story]

Anyone who came to visit me knew that it was my last day. They - my friends, relatives, came to the house to see me and say goodbye. They all knew I was dying. I was perfectly aware of it too.

My wife’s father spoke, “Let’s pick up Father Matthew.” My wife cried, and I felt her threw herself to me, trying to hug my vegetable body. My body wasn’t moving. I was quadriplegic for 4 months, as the doctor said; till I totally lost control of everything. I couldn’t even open my eyes. It felt as though my eyelids and mouth were sewn shut as I struggle to open them. Physically, there was nothing I could do. Before my body became thoroughly deteriorated, I remember how Lucia carried me to the bath every time I needed to use the toilet. Each time was embarrassing and I loathe those moments. Privacy wasn't the only thing I lost, but also my pride. It was a very dreadful feeling in the beginning. So dreadful that every time she’d carry me to the toilet I wished I was dead. That’s the last thing a man would ever want to happen; to need someone to wipe his ass, and hold his penis when he needs to pee... it's something that I could only hope would never happen to anyone close to me.

But it wasn’t all that bad. Those moments also made me realize how genuine her love for me was. And I loved her even more. “Lucia”, I said, “please don’t cry. I hate it when you cry. You must realize you look ugly when you cry.” And I continued, “Don’t let any moment take your beauty.”

“Please don’t go George”, she continued to cry. “I’d do anything to keep you with me. Lord, oh please!”

She didn’t hear a word I said.

I knew how she felt. I knew she loved me, and imagining myself losing her would make me cry the way she did. Oh I loved my wife. My beautiful wife.

My wife was a great believer of God. I wasn't. She had always wanted me to go to church. I remember going with her a few times. I did it for her, not for anyone else; definitely not for who she call her God. And that’s just one of the many things that we didn’t agree about. We had plenty, but I won’t discuss it with you. You know, some things are best kept between husbands and wives. What I want to say is, we had a lot of differences in likes and beliefs, but nothing could change the fact that I loved my wife. I loved her so much, and I didn’t want to die and leave her behind. I could not stand seeing her cry. But the universe, or should I say, her God, had his own way of arranging things – like me dying that day… something that she didn’t want to believe her God would permit.

“I will be gone soon Lucia, but I will always love you.”, I told her, without opening my mouth. I was talking to her, in my mind, hoping that she’d hear me.

I couldn’t open my eyes but I knew I was surrounded by the people I loved. At times I wanted to tell them I was fine, and that I was happy to see, or rather, feel their presence, but my mouth would not allow me to speak.

“You will not die, George! You are staying right here, just with me!” my wife, Lucia, talking to me. I said, “Honey, I can feel I don’t have much time remaining. I will be leaving soon. I love you so much. How I wish you can hear me.”

Half an hour passed. Only thing I heard was my wife’s crying.

“Father Matthew is here”, my father-in-law said. And Lucia cried harder and hugged me even more. “No!!! My George is not dying. God will save him!” She hugged me firmly… like she’s ready to attack anyone who’d dare to take me away from her. She was begging God not to take me. She was crying to God to save me.

I never believed in God. The absence of proof is the proof of absence. I wanted to tell Lucia to stop crying. There was nothing we could do.

And as I expected, her God didn’t hear a word she cried. I was sad for my wife. Things and events that were already planned by the universe is inevitable. My death was bound to happen. I was ready.

A little moment after the priest said his prayers for the dying, I died. That was the signal. Lucia cried even harder. But I could no longer feel her skin against mine. Her hug was, numb. For a few moments, I was just lying there, eyes still closed, thinking if I were really dead. I opened my eyes, which I was not able to do for a month, and a strong beam of light shone from above, it was so strong it hurt my eyes so bad; like the sun when it pierces my eyes when I look at it directly. I thought, at first, that it was the light that people talk about. Well, I was wrong. It was the light bulb on the ceiling that was blinding me. Took me a minute for my eyes to adjust to it, and I moved my head to see my wife crying.

I moved my eyes inside the room and found everyone - my family, friends. Some were crying. Some weren’t showing any emotion at all, but everyone’s eyes were fixed on me, and my crying wife.

It was a very strange feeling. My back, which had been sore for many months of lying in bed, could no longer feel it. I felt airy and light-headed as I rose out of the bed. I felt I was separated from my body; I really was. My body looked frozen in the bed. I tried to lay down again in hopes of returning to my body, but I failed. “I'm dead.” I looked at my wife, Lucia, burying her face to my chest while trying to pull my body up by my shirt. I almost wanted to cry. No, in fact, I did cry. I didn’t feel tears in my eyes, but I knew I cried.

While to the world I was dead, I can find no words to eloquently describe the experience. My feet was on the ground, but I felt so light I couldn’t even feel my feet touching it. It was something beyond this world, and cannot be described sufficiently in worldly terms. Then, a brighter light came through the wall in our room. “This one is what they’re talking about. So it’s true after all.” I thought. I was waiting for someone to appear. Maybe an old man with thick, white beard, wearing all white. You know. The shit people say when people die. Yes, the light was real. I saw it. I was looking at it for 2 minutes, or maybe longer, without blinking my eyes, but nobody showed up. The light was getting brighter and brighter, but it wasn’t hurting anymore. My eyes got used to it quickly. I looked at my wife who was still crying. Then, like an old photo losing it's colour, fading, everyone started to disappear... like a thick smoke slowly losing it’s shape… until they’re all gone.

That was the last I could remember of the day I died.

I felt as though I had disappeared and some magical force carried me to a place where nothing was visible but bright light. The silence was deafening. 35 years I lived on earth but I never felt so alone. Never thought I’d experience it afterlife. I didn’t know where I was but I perfectly knew I was dead. My mind continued to function, like now, as I was able to think about what was happening during that moment, but my senses were all gone. Thus passed the time, till I heard a man spoke. Sure thing, I was glad to hear a voice. Who knows how may hours, or days, I was floating in that cosmos, alone.

“Your name?” The voice said, who I assumed was talking to me.

“Who are you? Where are we?” I reluctantly asked.

“Your name?” the man asked again, louder, and was indeed demanding an outright answer.

I was looking around, trying to catch a glimpse of the person talking to me when I answered his question. “I’m George, and I think I’m dead.”

“Of course you are! Hahaha…”, the man laughed, as though I threw him a very funny joke, then he paused. The man sounded he was trying to stop himself from laughing, and continued, “Take a seat, George.”

I was about to tell him I couldn’t see a thing, when the room we were in started to become visible. I saw a white cabinet standing a few meters to my right. It was full of books. I was trying to read the titles as I walked towards it till bumped into a steel chair.

“Sit down.” The man offered.

“Listen,” I said, “I don’t know who you are and I don’t know where I am, but I really think I am dead. I shouldn’t be anywhere. I should be gone.”

The man sniffled, then paused, like he was thinking what he’s going to say or ask next. I remained quiet, waiting patiently for the man to answer the questions I threw him. I didn’t notice right away that a table was in front of me. It was also made of steel, and the fact that the table was painted white made it barely noticeable. I leaned forward and placed my elbow on the steel table and cupped my cheeks with my hands, just like what I used to do when I was still alive.

“You are dead, and you are neither in heaven nor hell.” the man said. “And I am God.” , he continued.

I then distinguished something like a human form at the other side of the long table. I didn’t say a word. I was waiting for the man, who claimed himself as God, to continue. And everything became visible. I saw his face. A man, who looked my father’s age, maybe in his 60′s. He had a long curly hair, a scruffy face with beard, wearing an all-white tuxedo. I was examining his face when he showed me a craggy smile. “You didn’t believe me when I said I was God, did you?”

I did not answer outright. “If you really are God, then you should know what my answer is.”

“Well, you're right. I knew that’s what you were going to say”, the man answered. “Let me see,” then the man waved his hand in the air, and got himself something like an iPad from nowhere. Didn’t see how he did it. He flipped his hand in the air, and the next thing I knew he already had that thing in his hand. “So you don’t believe in God, and you don’t believe in heaven nor hell.” the man paused again. “I honestly don’t know what to do to you. But you're right. You are dead. You saw yourself in the bed before you were brought here, did you not?”

I nodded.

“I know what’s on your mind and what's in your heart, but I want to hear it from you,” the man continued, “do you still believe God doesn’t exist? That I-do-not exist?”

“What’s the point of asking me that question?”

“I want to hear you say it.”, he said.

“Let’s get over this. Just do what you want to do, and take me to wherever you think I should go. As far as I know I shouldn’t be anywhere. I should just be gone.” I said.

The man gave me an honest smile. “Not that fast George. We need to settle this issue first. I am God and I know you know now that I am real, but you are ashamed that you didn’t believe in me your whole life, and now you’re dead you find yourself in that chair, and across the table, in front of you, is God. That’s what you have in mind. You can’t hide it. Tell me you believe in me and I will take you with me to heaven.”

“No I won’t.”

“Why?”

“You’re not real, and this is just a dream. You are just an illusion. That shit, that the old wise men fed the weak-willed and vulnerable, tens of thousands of years ago. The first of humans in this world sold us to that insane idea. They did it to gain control of the people, by forcing them to believe that something like you exists. I do not believe in any organized religion and I don't believe in you.”

The man was still smiling. “But you’re here now, and you’re talking to me, your God.”

“You’re nothing but a dream. I was dying, my mind wasn’t in its best condition when I died. How this is happening, I don't know. But I know you’re just a dream, a post-life imagination of my mind, and you’ll be gone after this and everything else, including me, will vanish, pffft! Like that!” I muttered.

“So you want to go to hell?” the man asked.

I answered, “I am not going anywhere. After this, you and I will slip away to nothingness. That’s the end.”

“Ok George,” said the man while rubbing his beard, like he was thinking of the next word to say, “what can I do to make you say you believe in me?”

“Nothing.” I said.

“I want to give you another chance George. Though you didn’t believe in me while you were alive, though you have some dirty little secrets… you were a good man, and you were a good husband to your wife. I cannot just throw you to hell. I’m going to ask you one more time, and after this, your next chance is after a thousand years. Think before you give your answer”, the man paused. “Do you believe in me, your God?”

“You know what my answer is….I don’t.” I answered.

“Your heart says otherwise.” Then the man tapped his device that looked like an iPad, and started writing with his invisible pen. I could tell he was writing something. Then he spoke, “You were a good man George, so I will not throw you to hell. Instead, I will give you another chance and take you back to earth, to help you realize my existence. But you must not forget that you are already dead. You will go back to earth, but you won’t live another life. You are allowed to watch over your loved ones, and roam around and do whatever will please you, but you will not be able to do anything physically. You cannot talk to people, you cannot touch them, and you will stay on earth till your next chance arrive, which is, errrr, after a thousand years from now. You may go.” The man smiled for the last time and then he's gone.

I didn’t get a chance to answer. Next thing I knew I was back in Manila, in the university where I studied college. Whatever brought me there, I do not know.

“You will stay on earth till your next chance arrive, which is after a thousand years.” That’s what the man I spoke with said. The man who claimed himself as God. I was wearing the same shirt I was wearing before I died. I put my hands in my pocket and realized it has money inside; you know, old tradition that our people do when someone passes away.

I tried to flag down an empty cab but the driver didn’t pull over. Oh well, what was I thinking? I am dead. Nobody sees me.

Thought of getting on a bus, so I walked to Park and Ride in Lawton, got on a bus and sat at the back row. People come and go, and just as I expected, nobody paid attention to me. I felt lonely, being ignored.

I reached home riding buses and jeepneys. The rides were free, of course. “So this is how it’s like.” I thought. You pay the full price when you’re young, get 20 percent discount when you reach the senior citizen bracket, and you get the rides free when you’re dead.

Our house still looked the same. I went straight to our room and found my wife cleaning. The room looked a bit different. The clock that I used to stare at when I was bedridden wasn’t there anymore. And the calendar that was hanging on the wall was for the year 2012. Two years had passed then since I died, I thought. I was just talking to that man who claimed himself as God, right after I died. It made me so confused I stopped analyzing. Lucia was cleaning our room. She opened the drawer at the bottom of the big cabinet. “Oh Lucia, you kept all my things.”, I said in joy, trying to talk to her. Inside was a box where we kept our pictures. She opened it and on top was our wedding picture. She then started to cry, and kissed me in the picture. Two years had passed and Lucia was still grieving over my death. It made me cry. I didn’t feel my tears but I knew I cried again. She missed me. She lifted the box where our pictures were kept while still crying. Below that box was another box. A box made of wood. Then I remembered it was mine. Nobody knew what that box was, not even my wife. “Don’t open that Lucia, no!” I tried to grab her hand but a strong bolt of electricity ran in my entirety just before my hand touched hers.  For the first time, after the day I died, I felt pain. Physical pain. I didn’t feel my arse touching the seat when I took the bus, and that made me wonder what that physical pain was about. I tried to stop her again but the same pain pinned my whole body. So that’s what the bearded man meant when he said I cannot touch people, I thought. I didn’t want Lucia to open that box. That’s the last thing I wanted her to do now that I’m dead. I swear, I was going to throw it away, I swear, but the accident happened.

Lucia found my dvd and magazine porn collection inside. Women of different colours and sizes, all nude, fucking, showed as she flipped through the pages. Two years after my death, Lucia was still grieving, and while she was crying, thinking about our memories, she found my porn. She put everything back inside the box and burned the whole thing outside. She was hurt, and disgusted. I didn’t know what to do.

A year and a half past, and I was still there. At home. Lucia had moved on and found herself another man. They got married and stayed in our house. They slept in our room. They kissed and fucked in our room, in the kitchen, in the bath. I saw it all. Every night they do it. But there was nothing I could do. I’m dead, and Lucia, the woman I loved so much, had moved on. She had to, I understand.

Each day, I walked the streets of Manila aimlessly. One good thing about being dead is you don’t get tired. You can walk and walk, and walk some more, without getting tired. I don’t even have to eat or drink or sleep. I don’t get tired, but completely powerless. What they say about ghosts, being powerful, is bullshit. Huh, I could not even lift a needle. I can walk, stand, and sit, and go through walls but that’s about it. If I could die a second time I’d die of boredom.

In front of me now is a newspaper stand. Today's date is March 29, 2022. I don’t know where I’m going after this. Maybe go to the Mall of Asia and watch a movie. I'm flying tomorrow to Seatlle, Washington, ticket is free, you know.

The man who claimed himself as God said my next chance is after a thousand years. 12 years had passed. Pfft, like 12 years mean anything compared to a thousand years. I started to believe in God the moment I saw and talked to that man. He’s real. I was too stupid not to admit it. And this is the punishment; to be a ghost for a thousand years.

I still love Lucia.

How about you, what's your story?

[END]


Copyright © 2010, Yffar, All rights reserved

Early Christmas Gift, yeahbah!

Whoooo peeeee! :-) What a great day it was for me! I mentioned in my previous post that I have a small package to pick-up in QC. Well, I got it this afternoon. *insert-happy-dance-here* All the while I thought I was gonna get some chocolates or something usually given as pasalubong (like a shirt or a bottle of  perfume), but to my surprise I got something even better!

I got these...

Not chocolates, but better. XD

This is from Sir Jaime, from Seattle, WA, whom I have known online for quite some time. It's just soooo kind and soooo generous of him to give me all these - a set of acrylic and oil paints (big tubes), paint brushes of different types and sizes (total of 40 brushes!), a brush cleaner, acrylic mediums, 2 palettes and a palette knife, colored pencils, a calligraphy kit, 2 Books, and more.  The wood palette and some of the brushes were actually made in China.  Funny that they had to travel to the US only to be sent back to Asia. When I saw the entirety of what I was told to pick up, I was like - "are you serious you're giving me all these?"  What I received was way greater in quantity than what I originally purchased when I started painting a few months back.  This is an early Christmas gift!  Ang dami-dami at amoy Seattle, Washington pa! Hahaha.

*Thanks again Sir Jaime, I really appreciate everything!  May God bless you and your loved ones!  Btw, thanks also to your daughter and her secretary for being nice when I came to pick up the package (I'm just quite disappointed they didn't offer me anything to drink - hahaha, NO - just kidding sir!)  Ang bait-bait nyo po, I'll buy you lunch when you come over Manila next year.*

Now that I got big tubes of paints, I just need to get some pre-stretched canvas so I can get back into painting. I'm aware I'm not a schooled artist and I never took any art lesson before, but some say I'm doing pretty good for a newbie (LOL yabang lang). And as a learning painter, being restricted by perspectives and shadows is something I don't want to get myself into. That's why I identify with folk art. My instinct to paint and my will to learn are greater than my inhibitions about painting, and I guess that's one good quality I have. Yes people, I paint from my heart (drama ang potah, haha). There were even nights before when I got so engrossed in painting that it was 4am before I realized the time. That's how much I enjoy doing it. Much like having sex, you know. Hahaha, just kidding. Sex is better.

Recently I realized how blogging can be a good source of online friends, but that would be impossible if I continue writing emoish-blahness, which nobody really wants to read. Come on, the world's already full of shit and negative vibes and I no longer want to add up to it. But, errr, bad things do really happen sometimes, so I still might throw some of them here unconsciously (and consciously). This is MY blog, bite me. Oh well, I am, again, speaking in paradox, haha. Kidding aside, should bad things/news/experience come my way, I'd just let it go. Much like reading a book - turn the page when it's done.

I find blogging now a bit of a challenge, but I'm up for it. I mean, I want to thrive on the challenge to write something that people will enjoy, and learn and benefit from. Not a small thing, I know.

That's all for tonight. Byerts people!

 
 

Blah for 10/24/2010

Had no internet connection for a week. How's that? Pfft.

Glad I'm back, whoooopeeee! XD haha!  Cracked a few books during my temporary internet hiatus. Read Smaller and Smaller Circles by FH Batacan, The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom, and finally finished American Gods by Neil Gaiman. Well, I didn't go online today to make a book review - but let me tell you, all these books are worth reading!  F.H. Batacan is a Filipino, and her novel, Smaller, won the 1999 Palanca Grand Prize, just so you know. Half of my book collections are by Filipino Writers; this is the least I can do to support the local writers.

I've been blogging since 2005, as far as I remember, and I admit, I'm a bad blog-parent. If my blog were a plant, it would be dead by now!  I guess that explains why I have had quite a number of blogs in the past. I started with Yahoo360 Blogs, then moved to Friendster, then went back to 360, then moved to Wordpress, and currently with Blogger. I still have another wordpress blog to this date, where I originally wanted to throw my rants and emoish-litany-blahs. It's my 2nd year anniversary with blogger in January 2011 and I will try to stay longer.  Been following a few blogs religiously and most do not know I am stalking them. It was only lately when I started leaving comments in the blogs I visit - and it was fun! I get to interact with people I do not know, and I get to hear what they have to say about things and life in general.  Lately I realized that nobody's following my site.  Sheeesh.  2 years in my new dot com yet no loyal follower, hahaha, what a pity! Actually, it was only a few months back when I added the Follow Me widget on the side of this blog. I was selfish and wanted to keep this blog from other people. I remember some bloggers, before, asking for x-links, which, to be honest, I didn't really understand.  I mean, I don't get their point.  Those blogs who I think are worth reading are the only ones I added. Them adding me to their's didn't really matter. I never really wanted anyone to read my blog - which defeats most bloggers purpose of putting up an online blog. Crazy, I was, huh?

But things are different now. So yeah, you are now allowed to stalk me blog. XD

I was contacted by a friend in the US, and was told I have a small package to pick up in QC.  First time for me to receive a package from the US, and I am sooooo excited!  I asked what it was but I was told it's a surprise.  Parang birthday ko lang, hihihi! XD  Sana panay chocolates ang padala, teeee heeeee!  I lurve chocolates!  Haha... parang bata ang potah. XD  Thanks Jaime!

That's the Blah for today...byerts now. XD

NEWS TODAY: Monster Kid, Typhoon, and RH

Haven't been watching the news lately. Actually, news is the only thing I watch in tv these days. All the local shows which they call "teleserye/telenobela/bullshits" are just plain sick and stupid. Arrggh! Truly, the world of local tv is reeking of stupidity and evil.

This will be a short story, so just bear with me. I remember my sister telling me about her colleague's 7yo daugther.  Her Inaanak (godchild) to be precise. Well, her colleague brought the kid to the office one day, and being the typical mischievous kid, the kid took my sister's keys and hid it somewhere. My sister knew that it was her inaanak who took it.  She saw her inaanak playing around with her keys a few moments before she realized it was missing.  Being the "mabait na ninang", she (doing the baby talk) asked the kid to return her keys offering her some candies in return.  To everyone's surprise, the child answered "Sinungaling ka ninang! Wala akong kinukuha! Sinungalang si Ninang, Mama!" (You're a liar, I didn't take your keys, biatch!), like a short drama skit you'd often see in tv.  (Just kidding, hehehe - the kid didn't say the b word.  I just put it for additional effect.)  Later that day, the kid's mother found my sister's keys inside their grocery bag. Pfft. On that same day, the kid found another victim in the office, this time it's my sister's 8-month-old pregnant colleague.  Preggy was doing a report, or sort of, in the computer, but the kid kept pestering her, pushing random keys in the keyboard and interrupting her work.  Preggy finally lost her patience and ordered the kid to stop or she'd ask the guard to take her to jail. The kid, again, suddenly turned into a teleserye-montster-child and said  "Ayaw ko! Sige, papatayin ko yang baby mo sa tyan! Gusto mo patayin ko yan?!" (Go ahead and I'll kill your baby!  Do you want me to kill your baby?!)  Everyone was shocked. And what did the kid's mom do? Nothing. Pfft. The mother just laughed. You know, she just gave the "kids-are-really-like-this" kind of laugh and said pasensya na. That kid is abominable! It's evil! Give her few more years and she'd be yelling "Pasasabugin ko kayong mga putang ina nyo!!!" while holding a grenade. Ooops, haha. Don't get me wrong. I love kids, but I hate parents who don't know how to control and teach their children values. That's what happens when parents let their kids watch those sick, local tv drama series without adult supervision.

PAG-ASA was anticipating a typhoon to hit Manila and that's been the news since Thursday of last week. I just learned this morning that the typhoon went a little up north, thus avoiding Manila. Manila is safe for now. It's typhoon signal number 4 in some provinces in Northern Luzon.  People are worried that it's going to be like Ondoy, which was a real disaster last year. Imagine one month's worth of the normal rainfail, falling on Metro Manila in just 6hrs. That was the worst rainfall here since 1960's. The drainage system in Manila sucks, but I think even with a good drainage system Manila will still be overwhelmed by that amount of rainfall.  I haven't seen the sun since Saturday, and I miss it.

Another thing that's been on the local news since the beginning of the month, and I've been wanting to blog about but didn't, is the Reproductive Health bill (RH).  The Church's opinion of the RH bill doesn't really make them appear pro-life, but rather pro-birth.  Seems like they only care about the birth.  But do they really care about what happnes after it?  I wrote a comment in one of the dot coms that I frequent in the blogosphere.  I think it is best if I'll just copy-paste it here. (Saves me time. It's written in Tagalog though.)

My comment in Mabuti Na Lang Pala at Wala Akong Relihiyon by Lio Loco, on Oct.11

sa mga ikinakatwiran ng simbahan, hindi naman sila lumalabas na pro-life, kundi pro-birth lamang. Hindi naman sila nag-aalala kung anong mangyayari pagkatapos ng ipanganak ng sanggol. Napanood ko yung interbyu ni Boy Abunda with Bishop Deogracias Iniguez sa The Bottomline kagabi. Nadisappoint ako dahil hindi pa pala nababasa nung bishop yung kabuuan ng RH Bill. eh hindi lang naman ukol sa contraception ang laman nito. marami pang bagay ang nakapaloob sa bill gaya ng ano at ng ano (too many to mention, haha).

isa pa, may mga bagay na hindi dapat ikategorya bilang moral o imoral, gaya nitong RH Bill, sa parehong paraan na hindi maaaring ikategorya ang contraception bilang anti-life o pro-life. Hindi ito pro-life pero hindi rin naman ito anti-life. (malabo ba?) kaya labas na dapat ang simbahan sa usaping ito. pero mukang mahihirapan sila na basta nalang manahimik, kasi nga naman hindi lang bahagi ng idelohiya ng pananampalataya nila ang kailangan nilang isantabi pansamantala, kundi pati narin ang pride nila. pero kagaya natin, maaari ding magbigay ang mga pari ng kanilang pananaw tungkol sa usaping ito bilang mga mamamayan ng bansa (oo, miyembro din sila ng tinatawag na "boss" ni pnoy bilang mga botante at kapwa mga pilipino), ngunit hindi ang mag-utos ng kung ano ang dapat gawin ng gobyerno lalo na't bahagi ng kinabukasan ng bansa ang nakataya.

sang-ayon ako sa mensahe na nais na iparating ni beltran, ngunit hindi sa paraan na ginamit nya. marami namang ibang paraan gaya ng ano at ng ano at ng ano (too many to mention ulit). hindi lang naman yung pari na kumakatawan sa simbahan ang binastos nya, kundi pati narin ang pribadong oras ng mga tao na nagkukwentuhan (nagdadasal pala) sa simbahan. hindi naman kailangang magbastusan para maihayag ang kung ano mang nais sabihin. gaano may kainit ang isyu hindi parin dapat mawala ang respeto. at dahil inaantok na ako, tatapusin ko na to. sori napahaba.

I know it looks more like another blog entry than a comment because of its length, haha. That's what happens when I get carried away by the topic.

No sign of sun till now, only cumulonimbus in the sky. It's gonna rain again anytime soon.

Christmas 2010 Wish List

I realized that it's almost Christmas when I saw a video of Jose Mari Chan's Christmas in Our Hearts on a friend's wall in facebook. Yep, Christmas is near and I think that's enough good news to write about. Time really flies so fast. Teee heee! I didn't get any gifts worth-mentioning last year. Nothing materialized in my wish list last Christmas, pffft. But it's ok. I'm not bitter or something. I'm used to it, haha.

Although nobody's been giving me anything that's on my Christmas wish list for the past n years, I'm still going to write down the things I want this Christmas. This is a "wish list", so I might as well put here the things I really really want! Teeee heeee heeee! XD

So here's my Christmas 2010 Wish List (ambitious edition):

1. Iphone 4

I never owned an Iphone. My 3yo Nokia N73 has been acting up lately, so I guess it's about time to get a new phone. And I think the new Iphone is perfect! XD If you can give me this, there's no need for you to read the rest of this post. XD

2. A DSLR (with a good lens)

Again, I never owned one. I was planning to buy a Nikon dslr last year, but, errr, gaaaah...

3. PS3 slim

If you are nice enough, you may also include Naruto Shippuuden Ultimate Ninja Storm2.

4. A 3D2N vacation package in Coron, Palawan, for 6

That's for me and my family.  A trip outside the country is also perfect (just don't send me to Iraq).

5. A job I really like

I know nobody can really give me this, unless you're a boss in some big company (let's talk). So just choose any of the aforementioned wishes.

How about you? What do you want for Christmas? XD

Break



Still sad.  Pfft.  This is the n'th time I said the first sentence.  Soooo redundant.  I wanted to write about something happy but I just don't have any good news to share.  My mojo has lost its power, everything's fucked up, and I can't fucking swallow it.  I know everyone has his own share of dilemmas, so I am not complaining.  Errr.... I better stop now before this post turns into another boorish-emoish-blahness.

I'll be back when I have better things to say.

Blah for now.

Starting Over

Malungkot ako. It's not depression, mind. All those emoish-litany-blahs I wrote in the past were about how depressed I was with all the blah blah blah and whatnot. I was always complaining. After making a quick study of my life (again) by listing down 1.) all the things and goals that I met successfully; 2.) things that I wanted to do but never did; and 3.) things that I was successfull in failing, I realized that what I was experiencing before was more of dissatisfaction than depression. Yes, I was dissatisfied. Not depressed. A good friend taught me this self-analysis-ek-ek along time ago. It works! I wanted to be successful but I never really had the will to work for it. Parang si Juan tamad lang. Gusto ng bayabas pero tamad umakyat sa puno kaya't humilata nalang at nag-abang sa pagbagsak nito. Ugaling tamad. Aminado ako. One thing I realized from this is that I don't have the right to expect things that I am not willing to work for; such as success. Wala rin akong karapatang magreklamo sakaling mabigo ang expectations ko kung wala naman akong ginawang paraan para makamit yon.  Dapat kong gayahin si Naruto (kung di mo kilala si Naruto hindi mo maiintindihan ang sinasabi ko). Malungkot lang ako kasi ang hirap bumangon mula sa pagkakadapa. Ayan, tag-lish na.

I went to a job interview yesterday. There were only 3 interviews, but the overall process was very tedious - as in. I was hired by three different companies last year (at may experience pa ako bago yan... oo, di ako mapakali kakaresign) and that's where majority of the questions during the interviews revolved. Bakit ka nag-apply sa kanila, anong trabaho mo doon, bakit ka nagresign, anong ayaw mo, bakit ka nag-apply sa kanila, anong trabaho mo doon, bakit ka nagresign, anong ayaw mo... parang kanta, repeat till fade....paulit-ulit, nakakaasar, nakakarindi. Eto ang hirap kapag call center hopper ka. Parang lahat ng aaplayan mo wala ng tiwala sayo. Umabot ako sa final interview. I was told I passed, but no job offer was made. Tatawagan daw ako next week for the next step. The line of business where, "they said", I will be assigned has two departments. Ipo-profile lang daw ako kung saang dept ako bagay. I was assured that I passed the final interview, but the fact that I was not offered a job outright worries me. Bakit kelangan pa maghintay? Tatawagan - errr, that's the usual regret speil. I just hope they don't give false hopes to their applicants.  May istorya to eh.  Dapat Nung July pa ako nagstart dito sa kumpanyang to - lintik nagresign daw yung hr specialist na may hawak ng profile ko.  Nangyari:  profile missing.  Nagstart na yung batch ko ng hindi ako tinatawagan.  Ang problema wala pa akong pinipirmahang job offer noon.  Hindi ko kasalanan.  Ayoko na ring manisi (mabait ako kasi ako ang may kailangan sa kanila).   Basta, I'll wait for their call next week. I will. Patience is a virtue. Umaasa ako na tatawagan nga nila ako. I did my best in the interview, so hindi siguro masama na mag-expect ako ng tagumpay.

I was asked, during the final interview; Where do you see yourself 5 years from now? That effing question again - pfft. I wanted to answer, "Hopefully not having to go through another interview like this with another company - gusto ko na dito sa kumpanya nyo, tanggapin nyo ako please!!!", but of course I didn't. I don't want to sound too desperate. I'm really dead-set about staying longer in my next job. I made the wrong decision when I resigned from etch es bee sea (oo - yung hongkong shanghai bangkok china, hahaha). It was the best company I worked for, pero naging sakitin ako noong panahon na yon so I chose to resign and stay at home, and recuperate (na psychosomatic lang talaga, bunga ng katamaran). I know I know I know... there's no use crying over spilled milk. I promised myself that I will stay longer in my next job, that's why I'm carefully choosing the companies I am applying at. Sana may maniwala naman.

Sana may dumating na good news next week para party-party na. XD

 
 
 

May it rest in peace

My ideology of using gadgets, tools, and other personal things is quite simple - use them until they die, or until they fall apart, or until they fail you, or until they hurt you and let you fall.

Well last night, past midnight, I fell... and it hurt!

Waaaah...puta...my swivel chair, my executive leather swivel chair!!!

I have had this for a year and a half only.  Pfft.  Now I realized how important the how-to-use-instructions are.  Well actually I didn't see it.  The effing warning sign, which I only saw last night hiding underneath the chair, says "Do not use this product on slippery hard floor, like a tile sureface, for example."  I knew it, dang!  I thought my chair wouldn't mind being used on a tiled floor.  So much for its price.



Pota...bawal daw sa tiled floor.  Demmet.



I should have placed a mat under the chair.  But, to be honest, I really don't know who to blame - my weight, or the tiled floor.  Maybe I really should lose weight. @_@

The chair was P3,299 from SM South Mall appliance center.    I remember the number because the tag was only removed last month.  Pfft.  Getting a replacement now is not possible.  Puta wala pa akong pera! 

I need my comfortable chair since I'm in front of the computer again most of the time. I kinda shoooed away from the web for a little while when I was busy with oil painting. But since my limited financial ability (which has actually gone to zero now) couldn't buy me both food and oil paint, I decided to stop my oil painting, temporarily. I don't know when I can go back to painting. (So there went my fantasy of oil painting exhibit and stardom in December). Pfft. Now that I don't have money, things around me are starting to fall apart, one by one - literally. First was my electric fan (which I managed to fix - yeah I know how to fix its wirings - thanks to my dad). Then my 2 cellphones which have been both acting up lately. And now my swivel chair! (What am I gonna do with the leather?  Make a jacket?) So here I am, sitting on a monoblock chair.  How's that. Gawd!

Tonight's prayer: "I willingly surrender the soul of my executive leather swivel chair. I'm giving it back to you. But please, spare my computer."