Oh my... This is the third time Tobey asked me to go hiking with them. Waaahhh... Sorry Tobey. X( I really wanted to go but because of my limited financial resources and my new schedule at work on Monday, I had to say "pass" again on her invite. Arrgghh...
*pic grabbed from Tobey's wordgasm.com
They went to Mt. Arayat last week and now they're planning to go again to another large landform this weekend. Waaaah.... I'm fuckin-dying-to-join them. X(
I'm going to have my new schedule at work on Monday. Yeahbah! XD Yep, finally, after several months of bumming around and wasting a hundred thousand of cash, I am back in the call center whoring business. Pffft. Time to be serious now. This time I will make sure I'd be saving money so I can go back to school next year. My classmates who copied on me during exams are now engineers working in big companies. Waaaa....Those gadammadapakers! They don't deserve it!!! They're all nothing but intellectually challenged and mentally deranged creatures pretending to be good in mechanics and thermodynamics!!! Yes, they're all retards and douchebags and they all deserve to die!!! (haha... It's just me being bitter.XD) It's not really their fault I was left behind. It was my choice - one of the stupidest and idiotically pointless things I did in my life. And so, I want to go back to school again. I need to catch up and make something useful out of my existence. And believe me, I am dead-serious now [insert dead-serious stare here]. Mapua, I'm going back soon!!!
Well, nothing's new about me aside from having a new job (smile). I'm still the same tedious and 50%-self-esteemed-guy-slash-emo-kid who keeps on fucking things up. I don't know, but most that I do ends up a disaster. My intentions are good but then I always fuck things up in the end. Was it really me to blame, or am I just born unlucky? Ohmygoodness!
It has been a while since I last went to church. And when I say "a while" that means a very looooong time. Maybe last year was the last [insert act of sign of the cross here]. I can say I am going thru this so-called spiritual dryness. Hmmmm...and now you ask me what the fuckin heluva shit is that? At present time I honestly don't know what to believe. I'm somewhere in the middle, or let's say I'm currently in the grey area; not in black nor white. Does that makes sense? Pfft...
At present time I see my life as a flat line with no options. Ooppss, sorry, I do have now. Remember, remember, remember, I'm gonna finish my mechanical engineering degree and earn big money and everything else will follow! Teee heee XD. That's the only option I'm willing to take for now. I'm really tired of my life but I have no other choice but to live. Well, I say I have no other choice because there are still people who wants me alive; like my family, my boss at work, my friends, my two lovely dogs, and the parasites living in every cell of my nutrient-rich body. I'm no longer happy living my life but I have embraced the fact that people around me wants me breathing (so they have a medium for comparison on how lucky and capable they are compared to me... geez) and I have made that my sole purpose of living. What a drag! Had my parents left me on the street after I was born, I probably had killed myself the moment my rational mind was developed.
I am making these commitments to everyone who gets to read this post.
- I will not kill myself.
- I will finish my degree and top the Mechanical Engineering Board Exam! And...
- I will determine whether I belong to black or white; spirituality wise, ok.
- I will be happy! (my gawd, how can I forget. Include being happy to the 3 original commitments above.) XD
Well, I know my Lord will help me. XD Teee heee! XD