Speaking in Paradoxes

Yeah yeah yeah, I am better now! Woo hoo!!! I am better this way, and tell you what, I just keep on getting better each day!

Things are doing good at work. My account is quite complicated, arrgghh, but I expect not to get clients with very little refinement (or maybe get just a few...just maybe...and I hope it's really just a few) like the ones I used to talk to when I was still with that crappy US telecom company. Wait, why do I keep on calling my previous account a "crappy-US-telcom-company"? Err, sorry. For the benefit of my CVG colleagues whose loyalty are dead-set to that telecom-company, I shall stop calling it as such. XD

I am getting along oh-so-very-well with my new colleagues now. Shite! That's another leap for my social development! My doctor will sure be proud of me! XD Teee heee heee!!! I do not normally talk to new people, and my friends know it. I, most of the time, shrink from social contacts and preoccupy myself with my own thoughts. When I was still new in CVG, during break time, I remember I used to spend my time alone, puffing on a cigar or two in one corner outside the building, semi-totally ignoring my colleagues. My first few conversations with them were like of retards. They begin it with Hi and I end it with Hello. Boring. I was only talking to Lucky and Chris on our first two weeks, then I started talking to Tobey and Bryan on the third and fourth week - the others I find not worthy of my time. I only started liking everyone in my wave when I finally went out with them for a drink and when we started taking calls together- yeah! Our alcohol preferences brought me closer to them. Teee heee heee! XD. Honestly, they're one of the bestest friends I ever had. Okay, I'm not really sure if the word bestest exists in the English Dictionary, but for now please give me the privilege to use it to express my feelings for my CVG colleagues in the superlative degree: They're one of my bestest friends!!! XD Wooo hooo! Oh - wag lalaki mga ulo nyo. I think you should all take me to Starbucks one day because I consider you my bestest of friends! Harhar! o_O

I am better now, but there are still moments when I can't help but feel sad. Well, yeah...it's always like this. ^_^ But I'm better this way. I'm getting better each day. I realized that the only people I need in my life are the ones who need me in theirs - the ones who truly value me as a person, the ones who recognize my worth. I just want to be happy and I think I am getting there. Now getting something useless would only get in the way, so I decided to leave some extra baggages behind - the ones that I used to treasure, I found out, do not really hold meaning in my life. I never expected that a simple phrase of few words that equals to NO would take the load I've been tryin to carry off my shoulders. I thought I don't know how to give up, and I thought I will never know when to give up, but it happened. They say that when a door closes, a window opens - if that happens, then it's time that you jump out! But then again, it depends on which floor you're on. Harhar!XD What happens next is either some broken bones, or you being dead. Hahaha!

Arrgghh, what am I talking about? As usual, I can't keep up with my own craziness. o_O

And yeah, this blog is all about me. ALL ABOUT ME. Check this blog's title and you'll find my name spelled backwards on it. So yeah, this small space in the cyberspace is all about me and my pathetic alter ego, but never accuse me of being self-centered. You may really think you get it, but it's not the same as actually getting it. Get it? Someone who never really cared about me need not say anything about my life. No one has the right to define or give meaning to what's going on in my life but myself. No one. Nada. Zilch. I am moving forward.

AFTERWORD for you:
This is my life. It's up to you if you still want to be part of it, or not. I wanted you to be part of my life forever, but with me moving forward and you ignoring me, it's just wishful thinking. I need you, but I really don't. Now I'm speaking in paradox again.

Whoa phaking shite! I started this entry with a positive "I-am-better-now" inspirational shitness but I am ending it under gloom. Come to think of it... I really like speaking in paradoxes.