Saturday, April 25, 2009

The Next In Line!

I don't know where I'd been these past few days. I was like abducted by aliens or some sort of and kept me away from blogging. Arrgghh. I don't enjoy this anymore!!! I got to be serious with life. Shit!!! I will try to convince myself to look for a regular job before April ends (or on the first week of May). Gawd...this is torture. I hate working. But I need to get a regular job so I can get myself a healthcard, in case, let's just say, my body malfunctions because of too much blood in my alcohol system. So I freaking-need a healthcard!!!

My youngest sister graduated last April 18! Yeahbaaah!!! Hoooray!!! And yes! All my siblings have their degrees and diplomas now. I will soon get mine and be a licensed Mechanical Engineer (but I still need to convince myself more.) Sigh. Enough stuff about my pathetic-self. Going back to my sister's graduation...we failed to take a single picture during the entirety of the graduation ceremony in PICC. The battery of our digital camera died some minutes before the ceremony started. Fcuk. They were all so busy taking care of everything they forgot to recharge the battery of the digicam. Harhar.

Well, after the graduation, we headed to MOA, bought batteries for the cam (I will try to upload few of those pics from MOA), ate late lunch, did a little window shopping, and played bowling. It was my first time to play bowling (I swearrrrr...and I'm not kidding.) But the first-timer-me got the highest point of 145, with 3 stikes. So I thought maybe I was born a natural bowler. Oh my God, now I am getting more confused! I have so much talent that I don't know now which one to develop! I took an IQ test in Facebook and it said I'm a brilliant person and I have an IQ level above 140. What the fcuk??? Was it really me?!? Hahaha! What a hoot! That's crap, and I'm certain. I do not even know how a derivative of a function at a chosen input value in calculus describes the behavior of the function near that input value. So how can I have an IQ level of above 140???

An IQ test for everyone:

Direction: Read the question very carefully. Write your answer in a 1/4 sheet of paper, fold it lengthwise. Write your name, year, section, and suking tindihan, and include signature, and drop it in your neighbor's mailbox. NO CHEATING!

(Question 1 of 1)

Devide 30 by a half, plus 10.
(a.) I don't know. I need a scientific calculator.
(b.) 25
(c.) 30
(d.) 70

P.S. Leave a comment to declare your answer...if you are brave enough to answer.


Duh... I am bored. I need to get a regular job soon. I cannot go on like this. I'm tired working as a secret agent in a secret mission for a secret employer. And I need a healthcard!!! My hypertensivity and cardiovascular what-ever might be worsening because of too much blood -ooopss, sorry, too much alcohol in my blood system. On the lighter side, I lost 5lbs from my original weight last month! Yeeaaahaaahh!!! Way to go!

Friday, April 24, 2009


Take Me Away
This time all I want is you
There is no one else
Who can take your place
This time you burned me with your eyes
You see past all the lies
You take it all away
I've seen it all and it's never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you
Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away
I try to make my way to you
But still I feel so lost
I don't know what else I can do
I've seen it all and it's never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you
Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away
Don't give up on me yet
Don't forget who I am
I know I'm not there yet
But don't let me stay here alone
This time all I want is you
There is no one else
Who can take your place
I've seen it all and it's never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you
Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away

Saturday, April 11, 2009


I want to be a ninja!

I got myself my first Shuriken...yeeehhaaa!!! I need to get myself my first Kunai too. Now I can start practicing the arts of Shuriken-Jutsu. Humanda kayo! (Feeling Naruto ba?)

Friday, April 10, 2009


*Photograped by my friend Jaime Orogo in Pio Duran, Albay.

Summer time is here. Yep! Hurray for the Beaches!!! But… the freaking hotness of summer is hell. It’s just too much! Eerrr. I feel like I’m the biggest-walking sweat gland on earth (that is if there are other walking-sweat glands that exist). Oh mai gawd… I hate the heat! I sweat up a storm when it’s summer. The only time I enjoy the heat is when I’m in the beach. I never enjoyed sweating profusely inside my room because of heat. Right now, as I type this sentence, the Google City Temperature meter/tool/gadget (whatever it is fucking called - I really don’t know) in my desktop registers 33 deg Celsius. That’s freaking hot!!! I have to carry two handkerchiefs with me, one on each side pocket of my shorts. The sweat glands from my head to toe, especially in my hands, are all celebrating and are partying with sweats. Sweating is perfectly normal, I know. It plays a very important role by maintaining our bodies temperature by cooling us down…blah blah blah. I learned it in Sineskwela. But at the rate my sweat glands are working, it seems like it is some kind of a strange disorder. And yes, they say occasionally sweating too much can be a sign of medical problem. I know I have halfzeimers (? That is half-Alzheimer’s), I am hypertensive, I have a slight psychological disorder, I’m alcoholic, and what else….is stupidity a form of sickness? Arrgg. Sometimes I think I was mistakenly placed in the Philippines, by whoever that is who places things and people on earth. Whoever that is should have placed me somewhere cold…. where ice and snow exists…someplace like, ammm… Alaska. Yeah. And I want to go to Sitka.
:-( Here I go again.

People - that is my friends, and others who exist around me, have been wondering why someone unemployed, non-working, useless jerk like me exists and continues to live without a regular job? I went to Bam’s place last Wednesday and had a “little-drinking-session-with GrandMa”. That is Grand Matador Brandy, to people who don’t know. There were only four of us drinking; Bam, Anne, Ghie and myself. Actually, there were only 3 of us since Ghie only had a single shot and went up to her apartment and never came back. Serge, who initially said he’ll be coming, didn’t show up for some reason that I can’t remember. Chris had to go with his family to Batangas that night (I‘m not sure but it starts with a B, wherever that is I forgot). And Belle, the new mom, who sent me a message some hours before I went to Bam’s said she’ll be coming too - but like Serge she never showed up. Anyways, going back to our drinking session, I was bombarded with high-energy-intriguing questions about my capability to survive without a job. It was like I was seated in the BUZZ Hot Seat. Ok… I’ll make the story short: they asked me if I have a “Sugar Mommy.”

What the fucking question is that??? I laughed really hard! Harharharhar….
And then I passed out.

I don’t have a supporter, and I am not that complete bum like they think I am. They wonder why I am able to buy things… and still have a little something to spend for out of town trips. People… I am working. Y es, I am using my body to make money. Hahaha… Hello??? Will anyone ever be interested to Buddha without the Wisdom‘s body? (Yeah, I know some people swoon over me, but of course I am just kidding when I said they swoon over me). Come on! I have a job but it’s something that I cannot tell anyone. It’s a secret. And just like James Bond, I would have to kill you if I tell you what my job is. Scared? Ok… I am not working. I just have a little savings and I would have to find a regular job soon. Maybe go back to Convergys, or apply someplace else. Really dunno. I don’t want to make plans anymore. I hate disappointing myself with unaccomplished plans, and I hate it even more when I disappoint my loved ones. Planning is no longer part of my second-rate vocabulary. I am learning now how to do and react on things as they go. I now play it by ear.

I was supposed to go to Angeles City yesterday. But I decided not to go. I felt like it would be best to stay at home and surf the web. I got myself a new game in my laptop! Weee!!! Actually, it is the first and only game my laptop has. Grand Theft Auto that is. Ok…ok…. I know it is not a new game and I shouldn't be so proud and happy about it. But I'm old-school! I admit it! Until now I still find it really hard to navigate the game. Fuck! I have never played a computer game since I was in College. The only game I learned to master was Star Craft Broodwar. And That was only it. I remember I had to delete the whole game from our pc when I was in my 4th year college. A report had to be submitted overnight, but the fucking computer that we had (it‘s completely dead now) would not allow me to finish my report without freeing some diskspace in its RAM. Several unnecessary files where already deleted but it still did not do the trick. As much as I hate to delete the game, I had no other choice but to do it. Fuck. And that was the end of my computer gaming career.

Oh, by the way, some night last week (I believe it was Thursday night), I had a really really freakin-bad dream. I had a nightmare. It scared the hell out me, for real. This is what happened in my dream:

(Cue: Soundtrack of Night f the living Dead, here)

“I was sleeping in a bed with a woman, who I do not know - probably a bar girl. I was on her left side, and on her other side was a cute little boy who I think starred in some TV shows or movie. Ok… I was half awake in my dream. I saw the boy looked on the woman, and said “Serbidora” in a very childish-cute-way. The woman opened her eyes and smiled at the boy. The boy slowly moved closer to the woman like he was about to give her a good night kiss on the cheek. To my surprise he slowly bit on the woman’s neck and sucked out blood, then slowly feasted on the woman‘s neck. I pretended to be asleep as I watch the boy eats the girl (hmm… I think that last sentence sounded like porn…boy eats girl’s ***bleep***…yeah). Then the boy turned his attention to me (now the heterosuxual porn becomes gay…oh my goodness). The boy climbed on the woman’s dead body while his eyes were pinned on my chubby neck. The innocent looking boy was smiling with blood on his face, and slowly moved closer to me and said the same exact word, “Serbidora…”, and I punched him. The boy’s face flattened on the pillow. But he slowly climbed again up the woman’s body towards me, as if he was not hurt at all by my punch. I wanted to get myself up from bed but I couldn’t. The boy goes, “Serbidora…” again and was coming closer to my face like he was going to kiss me too (oh yeah…it sounds like a gay porn), but I punched him again. The same thing happened 4 times, until after the 4th time I punched him hard, the boy got up quickly and transformed into an evil-looking-baby-boy (parang tsanak) and screamed “SERBIDORA…!!!” like he was ready to swallow me whole. I screamed and punched the boy-monster repeatedly.”

I woke up from the bad dream still punching the pillow in my mother’s bed. I was really scared I got up quickly and rushed to the door. Putang-ina talaga, men, promise!!! I told my sister what I dreamt about, and she laughed. I told her Serbidora will follow her to her apartment in Boni, but she said “Ulol, dyan lang yan si serbidora noh, humanda ka kasi my sequel pa yan!!! Bwahahahah!!!”

That is the scariest nightmare I ever had. Whew…good thing I survived the attack.
But what is that “Serbidora” about? Of all words, why did the monster-child in my dream kept on saying Serbidora? I can’t find any relevance of that word in my dream at all. Could it be the woman I was sleeping with was a serbidora from some club? Maybe. But what the heck… it’s just a nightmare. Drop the topic.

You probably notice I kept on switching from one topic to another. I don’t have much story to tell today.


A friend (the one related to BB and Robin) told me she likes my blog. She said I wrote something that made her cry and that she felt the emotion that I injected in it. I was really surprised to hear that my writings made someone cry. But duh?, I’m not even impressed with my own work. She was drunk when she told me that, I guess that’s why she said it, hahaha. I write for my own satisfaction. I have so much angst and pains inside that has to be vented in whatever way before the torturing heat blows inside and destroys me completely. Writing about what I feel and what makes me sad is like a quick fix to my sufferring. It makes me feel better even for just a nano-second time. Ok, I’ll stop from here.

I am happy. I need to be happy. I am happy now. Yes I am! And I am not pretending to be happy, promise!


Wednesday, April 1, 2009

RE: Chip Tsao's "nation of servants"

A very insignificant worm in the apple of journalism has succeeded in getting our attention. I won't go through the root of this discussion. I assume many of you have already heard and read about this Hong Kong Magazine writer/columnist named Chip Tsao, who called the Philippines a “nation of servants.” A very brave, but stupid comment, I must say.

Clap, clap, clap to Chip!!! (Arrgghh!!!)

I have once dreamt of becoming a journalist. I was even planning to write my own book, but that was before. I realized serious-writing is way, way over my intellectual capability, and so I have decided to have that dream rest in peace. I will still continue to write though, but I will never feel guilty if ever I missed some points in my writings or made a grammatically incorrect sentence because I am not a professional writer. I studied 4 years of mechanical engineering, and I think being good in both Math and Words is a real talent. (wink) BTW, I want to say sorry to my friends who I intentionally neglected these past few days. Been going through a lot because of some emotional challenges life has struck me, but I can say I am doing better now. I am not happy, but I am feeling better and moving on with life each day. Yes, I am, as you have requested - (I don’t know if you are reading this but you know who you are. I hope all is good with you in Sitka). I was having a good rest in bed the other night, when I heard about this Chip Tsao on the news. I already decided to get over it, but couldn’t help writing something about it. We were in my good friend Chris’ home last night and celebrated his birthday, and at some point in our conversations, when everyone was already drunk, Chip Tsao managed to get into it.

Though my heart is bursting with anger and disgust, and my restless mind truly bothered by his idiotic and moronic statements, I will try to be as calm as possible. So this will be a one-quick-blow:

Fuck you Chip Tsao!


Ok, now I feel better. That’s all I want to tell that freaking-Chinese-columnist. I have a high regard for journalists because I dreamt of becoming one before. It’s a profession I really respect. What Chip Tsao wrote got me mad in the beginning, but I feel better now. In fact, I pity him now for not having the good values that most people in his and our country have. I grew up from a very good family, where respect to others is really valued and practiced. What he had written in his column just nudged and angered the polite Philippine Society. I am not very good in expressing myself, but I hope this post serves its purpose.

I want to clarify that this article is not to battle out with China or it‘s people as a race. I have a few Chinese friends, and even fell in love with one, so this has nothing to do with the Chinese. I worked for almost three years in an international customer care service answering calls from people in the US. And yes, hearing derogatory, and somehow racist remarks from “some” Americans had been part of my customer service career. That was what my job was about - answering calls from financially (and mentally???) challenged people in the US. I know America is a great country, and many of them are good and friendly, but sadly most of the calls I was getting were from people with a-little-refinement. I just don’t understand why people like them, and Chip Tsao, exist. Is it to balance nature? To balance the flow of Yin and Yang? Predators and preys? Educated and uneducated? Hmmm…. Maybe.

If we will check back history, discrimination against Filipinos has been there for ages . It is primarily due to economic reasons. Ok… this is a fact: Filipinos are seen by others as people who are willing to work on almost anything for low wages in other countries, and it really bothers me. It is sad, but true. What would you expect - even our own government encourages it’s citizens to go and work abroad for that “better-opportunity-for-living” dream, instead of creating more jobs here and finding ways to make a more sustainable and stable economy so people won't have to move outside the country to work. Ok - I know it is easier said than done and I am definitely not in the position to lecture our “educated” government people… but that is what our government’s job is!!! That’s what they’re supposed to be doing! Doctors here in the Philippines are going abroad to become nurses to earn more - what the crock is it??? Why is this happening?!!

Going back to Chip Tsao, what he wrote was a real stupid remark. It's a writing that lacks the application of “common-sense” principle, which is very vital in writing. He has just reduced himself into a complete nothingness, in terms of writing, and has shown how uneducated he is. I am not a professional writer, but I believe, just like everybody else, that as a journalist, one has to be really careful about what he write and say - responsible writing that is. Yeah, as rational beings we are all entitled to provide our own opinions in whatever way and manner we want, but not to the extent of hitting what the whole world regard as taboo. His “ The War at Home” article was not just about Filipino people in general. It is also about other countries who have been suffering from the cruelty of racists. I learned from the news early this morning that Tsao has already made a public apology, but it didn’t really sound like one. It’s more of defending his evil work, and disguising it as a “satirical column” which his publishers noted as something that can be read in "different ways". Duh??? This is what Tsao said in his apology:

"The ‘servant’ is a sacred term. A Hong Kong government official is a civil servant. We are all servants to God, right? I’m now aware that I’ve crossed the line and I offer my public apology."

Ok… now I want to shove on his face a part of what he wrote:

“As a nation of servants, you don't flex your muscles at your master, from whom you earn most of your bread and butter.”

What I say: Yeah right…servant is a sacred term; that is according to Chip Tsao.

The root of all this chaos is the Spratly Islands which both the Philippines and China claims. It is an issue between two countries and not between two races - if you see what my point is. Spratlys is a legitimate issue, and just like all other big issues in every corner of the world, it can be discussed without insulting an entire nation and discriminating an entire race.

When I first read Tsao’s article, I wanted to go to Hong Kong and find him, and grab him by his neck while I tell him how his country should be called a nation of cheats - where most of the substandard products, equipments, and rip-off items came from, and are being sold here in the Philippines by Chinese business men. I wanted to counter all his bad words against Filipinos in his article by throwing back all the cheating that their people do in our country. I wanted to tell him that majority of the drug lords here are Chinese; about how they try to manipulate and substandardize products, including foods and medicines, to cheat the world and earn money. A lot of incidents were already reported about Chinese nationals caught producing fake paper bills here in the Philippines. The list can go on and on. I wanted to tell him all that. But I am not gonna say it (though obviously I just did).

This isn’t the first time that Chip Tsao has faced accusations of racism in his writings. He has done quite a few. Google Chip Tsao and see what I am talking about. sk tsk tsk… I’m sure his mother wouldn’t be happy about it.

RESPECT. That’s another thing that we need, aside from love, and sex (insert dirty grin here).

Waaaahh…. I know this nation-of-servant-issue deserves a more and thorough full-blown discussion. I wanted to make this entry longer but I am so tired and sleepy na… haaaayyy… Pffft… Now that Chip Tsao has made (as what he claims as) a public apology, he just have to brush his manners clean and silence himself. I know this is a long shot, but if ever Chip Tsao gets to read this post, I have one good suggestion for him: try writing about how China should be called the Master of Cheaters. I think that’d be more interesting. (smile)

And to our government people, the ones we elected for the betterment of our country, I hope what Chip Tsao wrote motivates you to do your job. Just take the lead, Madame’s and Sir’s, and WE WILL FOLLOW.


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