Sketch of Nothingness

It has been a while since i last held a pencil, not to right someting on a paper, but, to draw. I know I can draw, but I pretty much ran away from it because of my hands (this is a secret that only a few friends know: my hands are always sweating up a storm.) Disgusting, yeah. That's why I always have at least two handkerchief with me.

I'm still contemplating whether to continue my Mechanical Engineering degree, or enroll myself in a different course. I don't know, but I'm afraid to go back to Mapua. I'm afraid I've already forgotten a lot, like, eerrr....what's the earth's gravitational force again? It's 9.81m/s/s! (9.81 meters per second-squared...and I looked it up on the internet. Cheater.) My classmates who copied on me during exams are now licensed engineers. Had I continued my studies, I think I had a big chance of passing the board. But that was before. That was way back 2003-2004. I'm like totally clueless now on how Eintein's Theory of Relativity works.

I was considering enrolling in Creative Writing in UP Diliman, like my friend Tobey, but I realized I'm not really that much of a writer. I mean, I realized serious-writing is way-way over my intellectual capability, so I have decided to take it off my would-be-list. Tagalog: "Ako'y sadyang baguhan lamang sa larangan ng pag-susulat, at inaamin ko na ako ay wala talagang angking talento sa larangang ito. Ang nakasulat dito ay, aking inaamin na, pawang mga wala sa tamang porma, at madalas ay lumalabag sa batas ng balarila." Fuck that! Haha! That was already in Filipino but my writing still sucks. Eeeeewww.

Well, getting back to drawing, I am now thinking of enrolling in the School of Fine Arts, maybe in UP or UST, if my good-hearted sisters will help me financially (hope they get to read this). Teee heee heee! XD Ok.... I know my drawing also sucks as much as my writing, but it might just work for me.

Few of the drawings I made using charcoal and graphite:

Related entry: The Beatles - sketch

Need to decide what I really want to do in life. Bye now.

Note: The first pic that appears above (Titled, The Inner Beauty) is an original of J.D. Hillberry. Ginaya ko lang, syempre mas maganda yung original, kulang ako sa gamit eh, hehe.

Albom plus my music plus Chocolate Cream Chip...orgasmic!

They say happiness is a choice, and that you'll know you are doing the right thing when you make a decision and your heart is at peace. I'm not really happy, nor sad, nor my heart at peace, but I am ok. Just ok. Not great but ok. I'll settle with an ok-state for now than being troubled.

I was supposed to get a 4am sched at work starting on Monday, but I declined it. I don't feel like waking up at 2am - it's just damn too early. I wanted to get a morning sched, like 11am (ano ako swerte?), but they're not giving me that option. Insert sniffle here.

Had nothing to do yesterday. And so sometime afternoon I took a bath and put on a decent shirt. Didn't really know where I wanted to go. I only had one thing though in my mind yesterday, and that was to kill time. While inside the tricycle I decided I want to go to ATC, and so I did. I went there alone - as usual. I thought of watching a movie, but I just did the other night in Glorieta, so I took it off my list. After my failed attempt to withdraw cash out of an offline HSBC ATM machine, I continued walking inside ATC, till I remembered I have Albom inside my bag. Great. I finally settled for Starbucks. I'm not really a Starbucks fan like few of the people I know. In fact, I used to hate people who go there for coffee. I mean, why would someone spend 150 bucks for a cup of coffee??? But when I finally had my own laptop a year and some months ago, I realized it's not really just the coffee in Starbucks that people swoon over. It's also the cosy atmosphere and the free WiFi and AC.

"Chocolate Cream Chip please, Venti."

The place was quiet, which is good. Very conducive for people who need time to think. I promised myself I'd start reading "Have a Little Faith" by Albom, maybe read a few chapters before going home. I chose the most comfortable seat inside the shop beside the glass wall - a perfect view to see the people passing by. Albom is really best served and enjoyed in a nice place like this. But the Marimba-slash-samba-slash-jazz-slash-sax-slash-yaddah-yaddah Muzak playing inside the coffee shop was a bit irritating to my ears, so I plugged my earphones back and played my music player. Nothing beats listening to "my" music. Albom plus my music plus chocolate cream chip...orgasmic! I wish life is as simple as that.

I thought "Have a Little Faith" was a fiction, but turned out its a real-life story about two different men Albom knows personally. Yep, it's like his "Tuesdays with Morrie." Dang Raffy, did you not see the cover of the book??? It clearly says "a true story"! You're so makulet! Hahaha.

"But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over"
***Secondhand Serenade


Last-song-syndrome. XD

Gawd. what now Raffy? I don't know what to write now. I started this post with Starbucks and Albom but suddenly I dropped it, and pretty much walking away from it. Bakit? I don't know how to finish it eh. Hahaha. You see, just like yesterday, I, again, am just killing time. I think this is what my problem is. I want to keep a regular blog but I couldn't even think of a good damn thing to write about. Hahaha, wala talaga akong katulad.

Lalalalala.

Life goes on. It really should. So long as the music is playing, you gotta dance dance dance and dance. Like Naruto, Sasuke, and Gaara, I have always known what loneliness is. But I am ok now. There are just some things and dreams that don't belong to you. Or, it could also be the other way around. You just don't belong to those dreams.

Saan kaya ako susunod na magtatrabaho?

Tired of blathering about myself. My laziness, inconsistency, imperfections and all that - everybody who reads this blog knows about 'em. But I guess that makes me a normal human and that makes me unique. It's almost 4pm. Labas muna ako computer screen. Iwanan laptop bahay. Dala libro at psp. Pagpapatuloy ang have a little faith someplace else. XD

The King of Nothing To Do - Part 2

Dyaran!

Yes, I'm back. Where's the "welcome-back-to-yffarsworld" banner-shitnitz here??? Well, really got nothing to blather about right now. I just felt I need to give my bloggie a little update about, errr...about... arrgghh...fuck that! I don't really know what to write about. Oh by the way, heads up guys, I'm back on being THE KING OF NOTHING TO DO!

My doctor already upgraded my drugs from Lacipil to Combizar. These are legal drugs, ok. I have a stage2 hypertension and that's the only thing consistent in me along with my laziness. I'm trying to get back into jogging. But just like before, it's just another lick and a promise. Two weeks ago I bought a pedometer, which I thought was a great motivating tool. It's a small and light-weight apparatus made of plastic (the size of the tamagotchi digital pet during the 90's) that records the number of steps made, distance travelled, and fats and calories burned during an aerobic workout - let's say during running or walking. Yeah, it senses one's body-motion and counts its steps and makes a record of estimated calories and fats burned. How the tool does it, I don't know. You can click here to learn more about pedometer. Orayt, getting back to my tool, I mean the pedometer, I've only used it three times. Arrgghh. It has been sitting and collecting dust on my desk for more than a week now. I was so excited to use it the following morning after I bought it, but now I am slacking again. I thought it was a good motivating tool to get me back into jogging - but apparently it isn't. Yada yada yada about jogging shitnitz. It's all just a deja vu. But I really need exercise!!! Got to work on it!

Arrgghh.

New books. I bought three books the other day. Bought The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho, and two books of Mitch Albom - The Five People You Meet In Heaven and a hard-bound copy of his latest book Have a Little Faith which came out first week of October, I believe. The lady in National Bookstore said it might take 6 months or a year for a paperback copy to be produced. Heck, I bought the hard bound anyway - don't want to wait that long. But guess what, all the three books are still wrapped in plastic. Harhar. I might start reading any of them tomorrow. XD

More nonsense here. I have unlocked all the characters in my Naruto Heroes 2 psp game except for one. But after I learned a new Naruto game came out just the other week, I'm now starting to lose interest on it. I didn't even know that the one I bought came out more than a year ago. Sucker me. Lesson learned: Don't be a panic-buyer. Make a research first about what you want to buy before actually buying it. Could have gotten the new Naruto game had i Known it was already released. Why do I always make bad decisions in life??? I'm such a loser, parang si yaya. Arrgghh.

I went to Glorietta this afternoon and watched The Ugly Truth. Ako lang mag-isa. Wala kasing gustong sumama, haha. The movie was ok, but not great. Just a simple love story that will make you smile. I'm not a fan of love stories, pero mas gusto ko parin yung Serendipity. I'm just simply fascinated with the word serendipity, though hindi talaga ako naniniwala sa destiny. Oh well, sabi ko na sa inyo eh, I love speaking in paradoxes.

If you noticed, I also changed my music playlist here. Depressing daw kasi yung dati kong playlist. XD

Tama na.

Para gumanda ang araw mo, i-click mo ito. Pero walang sisihan ha. Basta ako natuwa. Teee heee heee! XD