Thursday, September 10, 2009


Alright. I have a confession to make. I'm sure you're not gonna look at me differently, and I'm perfectly sure that you're not gonna care neither.

I am sick.


I am sick. I think I will die before I reach 40, or maybe 30. My hypertension is not doing good - well by just the way it is called "hypertension" doesn't make it any good. I'm having fever every month. I get tired easily. I sweat too much. I feel sleepy during the hours of the day when I'm not suppose to sleep, and I couldn't force myself to sleep when it's time to hit the sack. Plus, I occasionally feel chest pain with reasons that doctors couldn't decipher even with the aide of modern ECG and stress test machine. The last time I had my heart checked was last January. They said my heart is ok, but I am feeling something inside. Listen...what I feel has nothing to do with "love", ok. I was in love but this has...arrgghh...ok, I am still in love, but this has nothing to do with the chest pain. I feel it. There's something wrong in my heart, biologically. Recently, with the last laboratory test that they did, the doctor said he sees something wrong with my liver, and he wants me to do another lab test and blah-blah-shit-blah....arrgghh!!!

Raffy 1: Wait... why am I telling them these?

Raffy 2:
Fuck that Raffy! You're not suppose to confess such things, idiot! Medical information are personal info!

Raffy 1:
Ok, my alter ego, I understand you. It's just that, we'll never know what's gonna happen later or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, so as early as now we need to start saying at least a semi-goodbye to our loved ones. You cannot really control what's already written in our destiny.

Raffy 2:
Haha, our destiny? If you want to die before 30, then make it YOUR destiny, ok?! Don't include me.

Ok...guys, just forget everything that I've written above. It's just a joke. I'm not sick guys. :-) hahaha... gotcha! Teee heee heee! XD Probably sick in the head, you might say, haha. XD

Way back last March, I told myself that't I'd start running to burn my body fat and lose even just a couple of pounds. I was jogging and running and walking everynight (yes, that was everynight) of the first 2 weeks of March, but on the 3rd and 4th week I started slacking with my running. Untill I became totally lazy with the amount of hours I have to hit the pavement. I became too lazy to even do just a lazy walk. Untill I stopped from running/jogging/walking at night. Last week, I tried to do it again, but I discovered I could no longer jog even for just 5-straight mins without stopping and gasping for air. The roads where we live are very steep, and run along side of empty vacant lots. After like 30 mins or so, I gave up. I turned around and walk home again. Bullfrogs and goats that hide behind the bushes were snorting and
laughing at me. I'm a loser. X(

Then I got sick after that night. Doing that slow-pace 30-min jogging made me sick?! Ano ba yan? I have fever since Saturday. I remember I just had flu last July, and now after just a month and some days I am sick again! WTF is goin on?

I think I need to change a few things in my lifestyle. I realized I've been drinking too much this past few months ('s really past-few-years) and I am aware that it's not healthy. (NOTE: The fact that I admit I know too much alcohol is bad for the health shows that I am not an alcoholic. Research says 99.9% of alcoholics do not admit to themselves the bad effects of alcohol. But of course, this data is just a made-up-story of yours truly, hahaha.) I also need to lessen my sugar and salt intake. A little exercise, a little lifting, would be great too. I'm not really a fitness conscious person, but I guess I need to start becoming conscious with my health if I want to go beyond 30 or 40.

Damn Raffy, you're getting heavier each day! Yeah, I need exercise. I need to jog! I need to get into it again! But how? Maybe I need to make a commitment, not just to myself but also to the people who will get to read this. Okay, ready:
  1. I will get back into running/jogging/walking.
  2. I will not cheat and will not fake my running.
  3. Less fatty and salty food. Less sugar too.
  4. NO MORE ALCOHOL. Period.

This is it for now. Wait, I think the last one's really hard. Arrgghh, I don't know if I can do that shit right away, so please allow me to change that into 2-or-3-beer-bottle-a-month policy for now. Then after a month or two I'll make it a 1-beer-bottle-a-month policy. Yeah, this rule is more obtainable. Teee heee heee! XD Don't question me, ok. These are my rules, so I can change or burn it all whenever I want! Harharhar! XD

Why am I telling you these again? you can...errr... help me. With you guys watching over me, I know I would have to stick to my commitment. XD

But for now, I need to sleep. Good thing my fever is almost gone now. Great. XD

BTW, my sister is doing fine now. She now has a distorted face and a skewed left shoulder. Hehehe, she's doing better, and all will be back to normal after a couple of months. Thank God. XD


Anonymous said...

Sa dami ng nakasulat nakalimutan ko na comment ko..

Kelan ka pa may bisyo sa pag inom? tinataningan ko kasi mga kaibigan ko manginginom eh. hehe

Health conscious din ako, alam ko pag kulang sa gulay o prutas o exercise ang katawan ko... pero, tamad ang katawan... utak lang tumatakbo pag minsan..lolz

I do jog 2 to 3 times a week..
mejo naguluhan ako sa post mo..
Maraming nagagandahan sa Serendipity ah, as for me, it's just another romantic movie.. La lang..

Thanks for dropping by my blog.

bluedreamer said...

your background music is really relaxing...
thanks for sharing!!

Yffar Edlacer said...

@Dylan: Thanks. Ok ang movie na serendipity para sa akin - tamang story lang. I just really love the idea about the word sérendipicité. Kung minsan kasi tamad na akong ikilos ang mundo ko. Parang gusto ko na lang hayaan ang mundo na gumalaw ng ayon sa gusto nya - habang ako'y makikisabay na lang. Sa desperado kong love-life, hindi ko mapigilang umasa sa kapalaran.

@blue: thanks. it's nice that you find the music relaxing. music yan from naruto (pinapatugtog yan during emo moments ni naruto). pero hindi ko talaga nilagay yan para magparelax...pampalungkot talaga ang purpose nyan para sa akin.

Yffar Edlacer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.


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